Helping Our Kids Process Trauma & Loss

When scary things happen, communities help each other. Some people in our community are helping by checking in on their friends, offering a place for evacuating families to stay, and helping at shelters. Many people outside of California are also thinking of us and hoping that we all stay safe.

Kira Bender, MS OTR/L
Center for Connection, Pasadena, California

We have many camp families, staff, and alumni who live in Pacific Palisades, Altadena/Pasadena, and the greater Los Angeles areas who have suffered the loss of their homes, schools, places of worship, and businesses. We join our entire GAC community from outside of the Southern California area in expressing our deepest condolences for the devastating losses so many of our cabin mates, co-workers, and friends have experienced. 

This interview (watch the video here or listen to audio only here) with Dr. William Lacey is a resource for families and other adults who want strategies for helping kids process the trauma and losses many families in our community have experienced.

About Dr. Lacey

Dr. William Lacey is a Licensed Psychologist who specializes in neuropsychological assessment of children, adolescents, and young adults. His clinical expertise for neuropsychological assessment includes diagnosis, academic and treatment planning for individuals with neurodevelopmental concerns (e.g., learning disorders, AD/HD), traumatic brain injury, epilepsy, complex emotional difficulties, and other complex medical conditions. Domains of psychotherapy expertise include depression, anxiety, borderline personality disorder, behavior difficulties/ADHD, trauma and grief, transgender care, and peripartum depression. Dr. Lacey has training in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Trauma & Grief Component Therapy for Adolescents, Parent Management Training, Parent Child Interaction Therapy, and Dialectical Behavior Therapy.

Dr. Lacey was born and raised in Detroit, MI and lived in Houston, TX and Boston, MA for extended periods of time. He uses a whole child approach and focuses on the context and culture surrounding our children and how that effects the way they interact with the world.

In addition to this interview, here are some additional resources for families who have been impacted by the recent fires:

Here are ways for the families to contact and reach out to Dr. Lacey:

website: https://www.cfcsantabarbara.com/will-lacey 

email: william@thecenterforconnection.org

Twitter: DrLaceySB

Instagram: CFC_SantaBarbara

Resources

https://www.thecenterforconnection.org/blogarchive/2025/1/9/resources-in-response-to-the-recent-fires

Tips and scripting to help caregivers navigate conversations with children.

https://laist.com/news/climate-environment/how-to-talk-to-children-about-wildfires-evacuations-and-losing-a-home

Talking to Children About the Fires, The Center for Connection 

Talking to Children about Wildfires and other Natural Disasters, American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry

Need support? Want to offer support?

If your family has been impacted by the fires or you are interested in supporting others in our GAC community, please fill out this form.

We are grateful for the love and connection that define our community during both the happy times and the difficult ones, and we are committed to helping our campers, staff, and families stay connected and supported during these difficult months ahead.

Our Favorite Read Aloud Books

At Gold Arrow Camp, the tradition of reading to campers every night holds a special place in the daily routine. After roasting marshmallows around the campfire and getting ready for bed, counselors read a book aloud to their campers. Even our oldest campers enjoy this nightly practice! 

Reading builds empathy, and is a powerful tool for helping campers develop kindness and compassion towards one another. Reading ignites camaraderie and conversation as campers think and talk about the situations and challenges the characters face. Many campers share with us that listening to a story in their sleeping bags is one of their favorite parts of the day. 

Five Tips for Choosing a Great Read Aloud Book at Home

  1. Start a series! Many counselors choose to read the first book in a series to their campers. While some of the books are larger (and cabin groups are not always able to finish the book), many campers report that they’re going to read the rest of the book when they get home, or read the next book in the series. A series offers continuity and an opportunity for campers to invest in the characters, setting, and plot. If you are trying to encourage more reading at home, one strategy is to start reading a series together. A child might choose to finish reading the series on their own. When I was little, my mom read the first three Harry Potter Books to me aloud. After reading three books together, I read the final four installments independently as they were released. Starting the series together helped me invest in the characters and made me excited for the new releases!
  2. Use online resources to find books that align with your child’s interests. Goodreads and Common Sense Media both offer reviews and ratings for children’s books. Goodreads also provides a fun way to start a “Reading Challenge” and set a reading goal for the year. At Gold Arrow Camp, we use Common Sense Media to guide counselors towards the perfect age-appropriate books.
  3. Visit your local library or bookstore, and involve your child in the selection process to foster ownership!
  4. Choose a book that has been made into a movie, and plan a family movie night when you finish reading the book. This is a great way to engage in discussions about a story, and talk about changes made from the book to the movie version.
  5. If your child is older and wants to read independently, find a time to read together as a family, or start a family book club and read the same book at the same time. In Michele Borba’s book Unselfie, Borba recommends looking at your child’s required reading list for school and picking up an additional copy for yourself!

Our Counselors’ Favorite Read Aloud Books

Bears (Grades K-2)

Tigers (Grades 3-5)

Lions (Grades 6-8)

Eagles (Grades 9-10)

Teaching Teamwork

“No one can whistle a symphony. It takes a whole orchestra to play it.” -H.E. Luccock

In this competitive, self-focused era, learning to be part of a team is a valuable skill that is not often taught to children (or adults!). Kids participate on many sports teams, but often that experience does not end up being a lesson in teamwork. Instead, sports teams often become a competitive experience of trying to get the position or play time they want as an individual.

One reason for our focus on non-competitive activities at GAC is so that kids can learn new skills without feeling the pressure to win or be the best. We also want kids to learn to be part of a team (their cabin group) and be better team members. The experience of living with a group of diverse people in a cabin group is the first lesson in teamwork that campers learn. Campers learn to work together to keep their living area organized, do daily clean up, and get to where they need to be (meals, activities, etc.). They also learn to support and encourage each other and help each cabin member do their best at each activity.

During the first few days of camp, each of our cabin groups goes through a “Team Building” program led by our trained ropes course staff. During a variety of games and activities, the campers learn to work together to accomplish tasks that they can only perform as a group. They learn about listening, leadership, and how to work through conflicts. The communication skills they learn at Team Building are used throughout camp. Lessons like taking turns when talking, sharing leadership, and planning before doing are all teamwork skills that campers can take home with them.

Building Empathy – Our 2024 Summer Theme!

Building Empathy is our 2024 Summer Theme! 

Empathy is our ability to understand how others feel, and building our empathy skills are foundational for closer friendships and improved well-being. In a world that is increasingly divided, building empathy is vital to cultivating meaningful relationships with people from diverse backgrounds.

Empathy is a skill that can be practiced, and this summer, we will focus on six tools to help campers cultivate empathy:

  1. Active Listening
  2. Emotional Literacy
  3. Perspective-Taking
  4. Storytelling
  5. Disagreeing without Debating
  6. Being an Upstander

Our logo this year includes a blueprint drawing and construction tools. A blueprint drawing is one of the first phases in planning and design during a construction project. Just as architects must consider various perspectives when designing a building to meet the needs of different users, developing empathy requires understanding and appreciating the perspectives of others. A blueprint also provides a comprehensive plan for a building, considering not just its individual components but how they interact to create a functional and harmonious space. Empathy requires seeing the whole picture by considering the emotions, experiences, and circumstances that shape others’ perspectives and behaviors.

Just as construction tools are used to measure, cut, and shape materials, empathy involves using various “tools” such as active listening, perspective-taking, and emotional literacy to understand others’ experiences, perspectives, and emotions.A well-equipped construction toolkit contains a variety of tools for different tasks and situations. Just as construction tools are used to build structures that connect people and communities, empathy serves as a tool for building bridges and connections between individuals, fostering mutual understanding, compassion, and cooperation.

This summer, we will talk about how we can build our empathy each day at Morning Assembly, and we’ll be adding skills to our empathy “toolkits.” At campers’ nightly cabin campfires, counselors will facilitate empathy-related discussions, and help campers practice active listening and storytelling through daily sharing. 

Building Empathy is about putting less emphasis on “me” and more emphasis on “we.” Empathy builders connect with others in meaningful ways and seek to better understand how others are feeling. Our goal is for campers and staff to become empathy builders in their schools, workplaces, and communities. 

Our theme this summer builds many of our past themes related to gratitude, kindness, kindness (Cool 2B Kind), relationship building (Creating Connections), helpfulness (Give a Hand), grit (Growing Grit), positivity (The Energy Bus), a focus on friendship (Find-a-Friend), building up others (Filling Buckets), being our best selves (Be You), appreciating our community (Better Together), and Choosing Kindness (2022). 

We can’t wait to build our empathy skills together this summer!

Start the Year with Some GAC Goals

January is a great time to reevaluate priorities and set goals for the new year. One way to help children and young adults establish a strong commitment to a goal is to create a goal as a family. The Gottman Institute states, “Families who make goals together, keep goals together,” and Kelsey Down explains the benefits of creating a family goal:

“Many of our routines are built around work and family, but your autonomy and ability to make personal changes to your life can be undermined by your greater responsibilities. So if you want to exercise more or eat healthier, you are more likely to do so if your other family members exercise with you and eat the same things you do. But if you are the only one in your family that is actively working towards a goal, constantly removing yourself from your other family members’ habits (e.g. eating a salad during family pizza night) will eventually erode your desire to keep your resolutions. You might stick with eating salads for a while, but that pepperoni pizza will be more tempting when everyone else is enjoying it but you. You shouldn’t force your family to do what you’re doing, especially if they don’t want or need to, but you can easily find ways for you and your family to work together and achieve a common goal.”

If you want your children to unplug more or spend more time in nature, consider creating a goal in which everyone participates equally as a family, and framing the goal as a SMART goal (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound).

After two weeks (or more!) at Gold Arrow Camp, many campers are motivated to continue some of their camp habits – like using their phone less or practicing the friendship skills they used at camp. January is a great opportunity to refocus on some of those practices and intentions. In Audrey “Sunshine” Monke’s book Happy Campers, Audrey writes about the power of bringing the magic of camp (and the habits we learn while going to camp) home. Here are five ideas inspired by our healthy habits at GAC to help your family come up with a family goal for 2024.

1. Complete the 1,000 Hours Outside Challenge!

1,000 Hours Outside is a “movement to reclaim childhood, reconnect families, and live a fuller life.” The goal is to spend 1,000 hours outside in one year. 1,000 Hours Outside has free tracker sheets that are available to download. There are many benefits to spending time outside, however the National Wildlife Federation found that the average American child spends four to seven minutes in unstructured outdoor play each day. As a family, brainstorm ways to spend more time outside in 2024! Every Kid Outdoors provides families of 4th graders with free passes to all of the national parks. Create a list of different national parks, trails, hikes, local parks, and places to visit as a family, or plan a bigger outdoor adventure and go on a family camping trip!

2. Come up with fun, screen-free activities and set screen-time limits as a family.

Decide what would work best for your whole family (both parents & kids!), and come up with parameters that you agree on as a family. Maybe everyone agrees to plug in and turn off their phones by 8pm each night, or you could download an app that helps everyone in your family monitor their screen time and social media usage and create a family challenge (maybe with prizes!) for whoever uses their screens the least. In Happy Campers, Audrey shares a great conversation format for talking about screens with your children. As a family, consider brainstorming fun screen-free activities that you want to do together in 2024, for example, a card game every Wednesday night, or a hike or bike ride together every Sunday. Write your ideas down and post them somewhere you’ll see them, or create a checklist so you can check off as you try each person’s suggestions. 

3. Set a family reading goal.

At Gold Arrow Camp, counselors read to campers every night (even our oldest campers!). Talk about which books each family member is going to read this year, or establish a daily or weekly time when your family reads together. For younger children, select a chapter book to read as a family. Make visiting the local library part of your weekly routine. My family enjoys following each other on Goodreads (a reading social media platform). When we see each other in person, we have lots of great conversations about what we’re reading and give each other book recommendations.

4. Establish a sharing practice.

At Gold Arrow Camp, campers share their highs and lows, or something else about their day, every night at campfire. In Happy Campers, Audrey discusses the benefits of daily sharing. Find a time for your family to connect and share each day. This could be sharing highs and lows, or responding to a different question each night at dinner. If evenings are busy, find a time when you are consistently together as a family (breakfast, right before bed, in the car) and establish a routine of sharing, listening, and connecting with each other!

5. Pick a theme for the year!

Each year at Gold Arrow Camp, we choose a summer theme. In 2023, our theme was Count on Me, and we talked about ways we can be more dependable and reliable people! Here is more information on choosing a family theme.

More Resources:

*Free PDF Download*  Screen Time: 3 Steps to a Successful Family Meeting

Happy Campers Book

The Gottman Institute: Make Your New Year’s Resolutions a Family Affair

How Nature Can Make You Kinder, Happier, and More Creative

10 Surprising Things Kids Learn at Camp

I would not be the person I am today without camp.
-15-year-old camper

My three decades of camp experience, coupled with my own and others’ research, have shaped my long-held opinion that camp experiences benefit children in profound ways. Yet even I was astounded by the revelations shared at our closing campfires last summer for the campers who were completing their final seasons as campers. These campfires were an emotional time to say goodbye to our high school kids heading into 10th grade.

After their counselors spoke about each of them and shared words of affirmation and encouragement, I asked the kids if they wanted to share anything they had learned at camp they might use throughout their lives. I knew we had a special gig going at camp, and that we were providing a positive, healthy community where kids could have fun, make friends, and grow, but I hadn’t heard the specific life lessons that they believed they learned at camp in such direct and heartfelt words spoken out loud.

Our oldest campers shared that they learned how to be happy, “to just have fun and not worry so much.” In a time when so many young people struggle with depression and anxiety, it was heartwarming to hear that, for many of them, camp is their “happy place.”

Campers also said they learned to be happy in their own skin, gaining confidence in their abilities, speaking up for things they believe in, and worrying less about what others think of them. “I have the freedom to be myself,” said one. Added another, “When I am at camp, I am a better version of myself than anywhere else on Earth.”

Being their truest selves, they found, paved the way for them to meet new people and explore new friendships. “Camp has made me a more open and caring person,” said one. At camp, many said they experienced a sense of belonging they didn’t always feel in their schools.

This comfort at camp enabled them to take risks and conquer fears, and they challenged themselves in new and adventurous ways. It didn’t matter if they failed, they said, because they were surrounded by counselors and friends who supported them no matter the outcome. “I’ve learned that the magic happens,” said one, “outside of your comfort zone.”

But among the sentiments that cheered me most from those older campers was the idea that camp helped them learn to live in the moment, to enjoy where they were in the Great Outdoors, and not worry about what the future held. Said one, “I found a passion for the outdoors I thought I would never have.” That’s what tends to happen, of course, when kids are unplugged from their technology for a time. Experiences and relationships are more vibrant and real, and kids expressed how great it was to connect face-to-face.

I really loved the way one camper put it: “When I was put in a cabin group with seven other random girls, we bonded really well and didn’t judge each other before we got to know them, because we had never seen each other’s social media profiles.”

I reflect back on those and other words and see that these 15-year-olds have wisdom that many adults have yet to acquire. Truly, I was blown away by what they said they learned at camp, and I could see in their spirits what one of them expressed: “Being at camp has influenced me to be a better person who wants to be a leader, not a follower.” I feel honored to know these articulate, honest, and thoughtful young adults who do not fit the teenage stereotype and are far more mature than I was at their age. These kids chose sleeping outdoors and sitting around a campfire instead of hunching over their phones.

When I look back on those memorable campfires, I feel deep gratitude for our oldest campers, the life-changing experiences they had at camp, and that I had the opportunity to play a small role in their learning. I am also grateful for the parents of these kids who were willing to share time with their children, and a piece of their childhoods, with our camp. And I am reminded, as a parent, that although there are many things I want my kids to learn—and I’d love to be their teacher—many of their best lessons will come from experiences apart from, and from someone other than, me.

 

Article originally published at Sunshine Parenting.

Audrey “Sunshine” Monke, MA, has been the owner of Gold Arrow Camp since 1989 and currently serves as the Chief Visionary Officer. In addition to her vision-casting and mentoring at GAC, Sunshine is an author (Happy Campers: 9 Summer Camp Secrets for Raising Kids Who Become Thriving Adults), podcast host, speaker and coach on the topics of parenting, social skills, and happiness. Find out more at her website, Sunshine Parenting.

Alumni Gather to Celebrate GAC’s 90th Summer

On August 19, 2023, 150 camper and staff alumni, spanning every decade from the 1940s through the 2000s, joined many current GAC staff, to celebrate Gold Arrow Camp’s 90th summer.

Photos from the event can be seen here.

Watch the 90th Reunion Slide Show.

Alumni arrived in the afternoon for tours of camp, reconnecting with camp friends and meeting new ones, and boat rides on Huntington Lake. . Attendees with memories from GAC’s earliest years were Manny Vezie’s children, Tim Vezie and Diana “Bunny” Vezie Bunney, as well as Manny and Estaline Vezie’s grandchildren, Lisa “Bun Bun” Swann, Keith Bunney, Laura Bunney, and Kyle Vezie. Also in attendance was Oliver Hoxie (Kyle’s son), Manny’s great-grandson.

Other multigenerational families in attendance included:
Marcia Piper (camper 1968-1970) and her son Michael (camper early 1990s)

Susan and Harry Macy (staff 1967-1971), their daughter Chelsea “Chelster” Rowe (camper 1980, staff member 1990-present), and granddaughter Macy “Catavee” Rowe (camper & current staff member).

Doug Balatti (staff member 1968, 1969, 1971) accompanied by his daughter, son-in-law and future camper grandchildren.

The Daubert Family including Camp Doctor Patrick “Ryder” (2011-2023), Camp Doctor Janeline”Red” (2012-2016), Paloma (camper 2011-2021), and Avery “Sprocket” (camper 2011-2021, staff member 2023).

The Tucknott/Norton Family – Dad Rod Tucknott was a camper and staff member, and the Tucknott kids include Asher (camper) and Sydney “Crush” (camper & 2023 staff member).

Stay in touch with your GAC Family and make sure you stay tuned for the 100th GAC celebration in 2033! 

Do you have alumni friends who you’d like us to add to our alumni email list? Please complete this form and let’s include them!

Alumni Guestbook
Sierra Summers GAC History Book
Bonfire Online GAC Store
Manny Vezie Fund Donations

“Sis” Receives 2023 Coach’s Award

In 2009, Gold Arrow Camp lost a dear friend. Ken “Coach” Baker (March 10, 1951 – April 5, 2009) worked at GAC as Camp Assistant Director and Director from 1981-1992 and had a huge, positive impact on many of us who are still here at camp today. Ken was instrumental in helping Sunshine purchase Gold Arrow from Jeanie Vezie in 1989, and mentored Sunshine, Monkey, Woody, Chelster, Tigger, Junior, Trapper, and many other GAC staff during their early years working at camp.

Ken “Coach” Baker, Jeanie Vezie and Sunshine in 1989

Ken had an amazing way of making even mundane tasks like picking up trash and painting buildings feel monumentally important. He had a way of clapping his hands together and giving a pep talk that got everyone fired up to do their jobs well. Ken had a near-constant smile on his face and took every challenge that came his way in stride. We all knew we could go to him with any problem and he would help us figure out how to fix it.

To honor Ken, in 2009 we established “Coach’s Award.” This award has been given each year since to a leader at camp, nominated by his/her peers, who motivates others through positive leadership and encouraging words and exemplifies Ken “Coach” Baker’s dedication to GAC’s vision.

To select each year’s recipient, we ask the entire staff to complete a nomination form, where they put the name of one person whom they think deserves this honor. They include comments about the person they nominate. We have such a high caliber of staff, many of whom are extremely positive and exemplify what Coach stood for, and we are grateful for the legacy he left us and that so many people at GAC are incredibly positive and motivating to others.

2023’s recipient, Brooke “Sis” Howard, stood out in those many nominations for her patient and positive leadership of our youngest campers, her infectious positive attitude, and for her love of camp. Sis’ name has been added to Coach’s Award, which hangs in our camp post office.

Sis (second from left) on the pontoon boat during her first summer at GAC (2010).

Sis has a long history at GAC. She was a camper for four years, from 2010-2013, and joined our staff in 2021. During her first summer (2010) Sis’ group counselor was Cheerio, who is also a Coach’s Award recipient! Sis has primarily worked as a group counselor for our youngest campers (ages 6-8) and has shown exemplary counseling skills. Her brother, Jack “Ski” Howard is also a long-time camper and staff member.

Sis (on the right) representing GAC at the Newport Mesa Spirit Run.

Camp Director, Alison “Bean” Moeschberger says about Sis: “In her three years as a Group Counselor for our youngest campers, Sis has shown herself to be a strong, confident leader who is dedicated to giving her campers the very best experience for their first year at camp. She is the quintessential Bears’ Group Counselor and provides her campers with the ideal balance of assistance and independence. She encourages her campers to get the most from their time at camp and pushes them, gently, to grow and embrace challenges along the way. Her constant smile is the physical representation of the love and care shining from her heart. Sis has left a lasting impression on every camper and counselor who has been fortunate to spend time with her, and the impact she has had will be felt for many years. Sis is one of the strongest and most humble counselors we have ever had, and I am grateful for the work she has done to help everyone she encounters love GAC as much as she does.”

There were many amazing comments about Sis in her nominations from her fellow counselors, including:

I am nominating Sis because she is an inspiration to so many around camp. She makes us want to be better counselors for not only the children, but to each other. The way I view it is that she’s like a matchstick, though some may see this as small she lights the fire that keeps GAC and everything it stand for alight. She is simply a joy and embodies what it means to be a good counselor. I don’t think that there is anyone more deserving than her.

Sis is a reliable, thoughtful, and affectionate counselor to her campers and friend to all of the staff. Regardless of the session, you can always see her campers attached to her hip and that speaks towards her campers love for her. What really amazes me is that I cannot remember a Morning Assembly where she is not bubble braiding her girls’ hair. All of her campers are so lucky to call Sis their counselor and all of GAC is lucky to have her on staff.

Sis at her first Bears’ Adventure (2010).

I am nominating Sis because I think that she is such an awesome, inspiring, and caring counselor that really embodies what it means to be kind. Seeing her with little kids is so touching and you can really tell that she has a great impact not only on campers, but also co’s. Her friendly and caring personality can not be missed at GAC and I really thnk that it deserves recognition!

She puts her all into every second of her job. She finds reward and pride in all the little things from all her little ones. On activity, she puts out what I see as day-ending fires with a couple tight yet compassionate words. She makes me reconsider the love with which it’s possible to interact with campers. When I speak to a young camper I try to channel her, on my best days and on my worst days. The Bear Trap is held up by her pragmatism and joy. So much attention is given to the impact on older campers that the sniper-lever precision with which she cares for camp can sometimes be overlooked. As far as I’m concerned, she never fails to treat campers admirably. I look up to her and everything she’s accomplished.

Sis at Bears’ Adventure with her cabin group, Session 4, 2023.

Every time I see her with her cabin, she is always smiling and her girls are too. She has endless patience and kindness, and she always makes sure to say “Hi” and wave when we pass each other, even though we don’t know each other super well. I am always so impressed by her ability to solve problems and help her girls have fun. They will always remember her as one of their favorite counselors.

She has the most dedicated, inspiring outlook on everything and is constantly impressing everyone around her, while never taking her focus off of her campers. Every chance I’ve gotten to witness her leadership style and limitless positivity I am absolutely blown away. She is so incredibly deserving of this award.

Sis, center, with previous Coach’s Award recipents Bravo (left) and Foxtrot (right).

I have never known a better person. Every year I am amazing by her ability to not only make her campers’ lives better, but everyone on staff as well. She has the patience of a saint and can always be counted on to make anything fun. I can think of no one more deserving than Sis. To know her is to love her. Camp is made better because of her.

A genuinely amazing counselor that cares about her campers like no other. She listens, cares, and is always so positive.

 

She is the most patient and caring counselor/person I have ever met. She does so much each day and asks for so little back. She just sincerely loves what she does and leaving an impact on people however she can. I look to her when I want inspiration to be a better counselor.

I’ve never heard Sis complain once. All of her campers adore and idolize her. She has the most welcoming and kind demeanor and is truly a friend to every camper and counselor at Gold Arrow. No one embodies coaches’ vision quite like Sis. Once again she has the most patient and charismatic soul.

As a Junior Counselor, Sis was the Group Counselor for my cabin. Ever since that summer I was so inspired by her. She gives every day her all and I’ve truly never seen someone fit so well as a bear’s counselor. Now as a counselor she has continued to be a mentor and getting to see her around camp brightens my day. I would not be the counselor I am today without her.

She is such a wonderful leader for the bears counselors. She is always smiling and being positive, and being a great counselor comes naturally. I think she is an awesome example for all the counselors at camp.

Every time I see her around camp she is always full of energy. Her love for both camp and her campers always brightens my day. She always leaves a positive impact on others and kills it with the Bears.

I believe that Sis is one of the best if not the best Bears counselor at camp. She is such a mother figure to the young girls and is always so sympathetic. Whenever you see her around camp she is always so engaging and does everything the girls want her to do, if not more. Her position as a counselor is just so great and she deserves this award for her hard work.

Sis was one of the first Group Counselors I had on activity and immediately she made me feel at home. She verbally reassured me I was good at my job and was always in my corner when I needed help. Over the summer, I have consistently seen her campers feel so loved and have loads of fun, all thanks to her. She has arguably the toughest age group at GAC and makes it look like a walk in the park. I aspire to be like her.

She is the most outstanding counselor. You can tell she loves the job and everything that comes with it. The highs and lows are always there, but she does something to always look at the bright side of things and keep her girls energy and spark up. I really look up to her and believe she deserves this award. I knew she had to win this award ever since I saw her reading after showers to her campers and engaging with her girls after the most mundane and tedious activity. Sis rocks!

I believe Sis is truly talented and gifted as a bears Group Counselor. She constantly greets everyone with a smile and a how are you regardless of how she’s doing. She always puts her campers first and every camper has left a better version of themselves because of her . I am always in awe of her as a GC and her kind heart, willingness to support anyone, and unfailing upbeat attitude. She has proven herself year after year as someone who deserves Coach’s award.

She was so dedicated, caring, loving, and amazing counselor. Being her co the whole summer was a blessing. I learned a lot from her, and the way she loves her work and camp that it makes me feel the same way. She is a person who is easy to love and admire. I’m so happy for having her with me this summer.

I love Sis. She is the sweetest person ever. Absolutely LOVE being in the bear trap with her all summer. She was so welcoming and I am so lucky to get to call you one of my greatest friends. She’s a huge part of why people love GAC. She’s incredible with the bears and you can really see how much they look up to you sister. Forever and ever bear trap sisters!

She has handled the ups and downs of being a baby bears GC with stride and always looks to pick others up whether they are a counselor or camper. She embodies what being a GAC counselor is about, showing love, caring about others, and letting others feel comfortable being themselves. Sis is inspiring and a role model for all.

I would like to nominate Sis. She is possibly one of the kindest people I have ever met. She makes time for every counselor at this camp and is always checking on people. The fact she has the time and energy to do that in addition to being one of the best bear GCs is a testament to her as a person. She is kind and supportive of every camper she has and has endless patience that I could not even begin to replicate. She stands for everything we as counselors should try to achieve and I am so happy and privileged to have gotten to know her this summer.

She is really good with campers. She deals with their problems easily and at the same time, she makes them have a great time. She is always there for them. She does more than she needs to do and keeps the girls entertained. She’s always with a smile on her face and she never looks stressed or exhausted. Their girls love her and she’s an amazing role model.
The work she does with her bears is just incredible. In my two years working at GAC I’ve seen in many instances how kind, motherly, loving encouraging, and warm she is to her campers. She works so so well with them and controls any little crisis just so so well. It’s almost like nothing ruffles her feathers, she does it all so seamlessly and I love seeing that.

I had the privilege to be her co during Session 1 & 2. She is an incredible counselor being one of her ACs was an amazing experience. She cared so much for every child and truly made them have the best experience possible, from hair braiding to the rig a bamboo. Around camp she has a warm presence and always makes others feel welcome. She was my hero during Tweek and took me under her wing. She cares for her cos so well. She is an understanding, compassionate, and caring person and truly embodies what this camp is about.

I personally think Sis should win, not just because of the nice, caring person that she is, but because of what an awesome GC she is. Every session that I’ve had her cabin, they’re super energetic, polite, and enthusiastic. She always seems calm in any situation and to me she unites the bear trap and is always so passionate towards her kids. I think she deserves the recognition.

She is a respected counselor, kind, and very interactive with kids. She is always interested in showing kids the appropriate way and gives her 200% every day. She would be my Coach’s Award Nomination!

Sis is an outstanding counselor. She has unwavering patience and calmness with the campers. Everytime I have interacted with Sis and her cabin, She is caring and loving with her campers. Her hard work and excellent counseling does not go unnoticed. She cares for the bears in every way possible. Campers look up to her. She is an outstanding role model. Her future is incredibly bright as a teaching – keep being yourself Sis!

From seeing how incredible she is with her girls, to spreading positivity with a smile on the dining porch I think Sis is the most deserving of this award. I honestly have not spent that much time with her aside from one activity on Bears Adventure and always running into her and her girls in Shower Tower. I can just tell how much love she has for this place and her kids, and of course how much they love her.

By having the heart of gold and checking in with everyone she comes across, Sis should be nominated for coach’s award this year. She has such a positive attitude being able to handle the youngest bears girls without being frustrated easily even with the littlest of problems. Sis is so fun to talk to and invites any counselor into the conversation even if on the outside of the convo. She takes control of her bears with ease without being too demanding and that helps them respect her even more.

Sis has become a vital part of the energy and brilliance of camp, especially this summer. Sis’s unwavering positive attitude (she’s got ‘tude) and three years of dedication to our Beartrap- all seemingly effortless. Sis makes my GAC happier and brighter through all the simple interactions. Thank you Sis for returning through the years.

Sis is someone at camp who makes others feel and understand that they belong. It is who she is, Sister, she is always there as a beam of kindness to others. I have never had a moment that I didn’t leave feeling good about myself and seen. She shows genuine love and care for campers, counselors, and is someone who makes GAC a better place. I am constantly inspired by her dedication and what she does here. I love Sister!

There is something special about the way Sis interacts with the people around her. She brings never-ending, positive energy to every situation, and the genuine care she has for her campers is inspiring. I consider myself lucky to have worked with her, and even luckier to know her as a friend.

I have been the luckiest person to be able to be her co-counselor for two years now and she still amazes me with new things of how to make the kids have the best summer. She is not only great with kids but also with all the counselors, she is supportive and I can’t wait to see all the things she does next. Thank you Sis for being the person that helped me enjoy my second camp experience, your love from camp is contagious.

Sis is an incredible counselor. She is so incredibly patient, kind, and competent with both her campers and everyone at camp. She smiles at anyone she sees and is always there if you need anything. She is the embodiment of everything camp is. I think she would be the perfect recipient.

She has always been a great leader among GCs and really welcomed me into Tweek when I didn’t know anyone. Always has the best smile on her face and does an amazing job with her cabin always.

I nominate Sis for being an exceptionally positive, hardworking, nurturing counselor for her campers at all times. She of course struggles at times, but always has a positive attitude. She makes camp fun and has a smile on her face always. She is a leader and role model for so many people here.

We are so thankful for Sis and her many years at GAC and are thrilled that she was this year’s Coach’s Award recipient! Congratulations, Sis!

Ask Questions

At camp, we spend a lot of time getting to know each other around the campfire, at meals, and while walking around camp. Many campers who were strangers to each other when they arrived at camp report feeling even closer to the cabin mates they’ve only known for a few weeks than they feel to school friends they’ve known for years. Why is that? One of the reasons is that they’ve had a lot of time to talk with each other. All those conversations help campers build strong friendships.

One friendship skill we practice at camp is learning to ask questions, to listen well using active listening skills, and to ask follow up questions rather than interjecting our stories and ideas right away. Questions help keep a conversation flowing and help us get to know others better. Here’s Sunshine talking about why this is an important social skill our kids need to practice:

 

Download our camp posters to use at home!

What do people most like to talk about?

You may think the answer is something very specific – like sports or a favorite video game or TV show. It’s likely that when I asked that question you thought about what you most like to talk about. It’s true that people really enjoy talking about things they’re interested in. And what they’re most interested in are hobbies and things they enjoy most. People like to talk about themselves, so the best questions to ask to get to know someone better are questions that give them the opportunity to share their interests and stories.

When you ask good questions, it not only helps you get to know your friend better, but it also makes them like you more and want to spend more time with you.

Kids (and adults) who master question-asking, listening, and follow-up are well-liked because they give people the opportunity to share about themselves.

Since asking good questions is the entry point for building friendships wherever you are and whatever your age, it’s an excellent friendship skill to practice and improve.

How to Ask Good Questions

When you’re going into a new situation where you’ll be talking with people you’ve just met or if you’re wanting to build closer friendships with kids you already know, take a few minutes to brainstorm a few good questions you might ask that are appropriate to the setting.

If you’re at school and it’s recess or lunch, you might ask about their interests, favorite foods (perhaps spurred by something you see them snacking on), their family, or how they spend their time after school.

If you get nervous talking with people you don’t know, practice asking questions with your parent, older sibling, or another trusted adult before you go into the new setting. Get their feedback about which questions they enjoyed most.

Campers last summer brainstormed a lot of fun questions to ask friends. You can check out the list here if you want some question ideas!

Question Asking Tips

Once you’ve figured out a few good questions to ask, here are a few important tips:

After you’ve asked the question, listen carefully to the answer without interrupting. If you’re excited or agree with the person, nodding your head and smiling let’s them know you’re “with them” and interested.

Sometimes, their answer gives you the opportunity to ask follow up questions.

For example, you might have first asked,
“Do you like to play any sports?”

And they answer, “No, but I really enjoy music.”

You could ask, “Do you play an instrument or sing?”

And so on.

By listening to their response to your original question, you’ll have a path for figuring out more questions to ask.

If you’re chatting again another day, you can circle back and ask how their piano practice is going or what song they’re learning to play.

Showing your friend that you care about what they care about is a great way to build your friendship, so asking good questions and listening well not only helps you get to know your friend better but will also help you know what to ask them more about later.

Is there someone you’d like to get to know better? Think about a good question you can ask to get to know them better and ask the question next time you’re with them!

Below are 50 questions that our 2019 campers brainstormed. Click here for a printable version!

If you’d like to use the questions at home, you can download them here.

Download Sunshine’s “Questions for Connection,” one of many helpful resources from her book HAPPY CAMPERS: 9 Summer Camp Secrets for Raising Kids Who Become Thriving Adults.

36 Questions to Get Closer to Someone You Love

Teaching Campers the Friendship Skill of Asking Questions

Research Finds Children Learn Social Skills At Camp

Why Kids Make Their Closest Friends at Camp

10 Friendship Skills Every Kid Needs

Talking with Kids about Friendship

10 Social Skills Kids Learn at Camp

Connection Through Questions

 

Today’s Friendship Tip: Find Your Best Calm Down Strategy

Today at Morning Assembly, we talked about the important skill of learning to “unflip our lids” by figuring out our go-to calm down strategies for when we’re feeling irritated, frustrated, annoyed, or angry with our friends. We talked about how it’s important to learn how to “unflip our lids” when we’re upset.

Flipping Your Lid

We talked with campers about how sometimes we “Flip our Lids” and how being a good friend to others means learning good strategies for calming ourselves down so that we can interact with our friends in ways that build up – not tear down – our friendships. We talked about how when our lids are flipped, our thinking brain isn’t in charge and we’re being led by our big feelings. When our lids are flipped, we often say or do things that make our friends feel bad and that we later regret.

We shared our brief summary of Dr. Dan Siegel’s Hand Brain Model with campers:

And we’ve shared this poster with campers so they can see a visual about a flipped verses unflipped brain.

Calm Down Strategies

We then had campers share their favorite calm-down strategies, and they had so many! We also shared this poster with more ideas: