Alumni Gather to Celebrate GAC’s 90th Summer

On August 19, 2023, 150 camper and staff alumni, spanning every decade from the 1940s through the 2000s, joined many current GAC staff, to celebrate Gold Arrow Camp’s 90th summer.

Photos from the event can be seen here.

Watch the 90th Reunion Slide Show.

Alumni arrived in the afternoon for tours of camp, reconnecting with camp friends and meeting new ones, and boat rides on Huntington Lake. . Attendees with memories from GAC’s earliest years were Manny Vezie’s children, Tim Vezie and Diana “Bunny” Vezie Bunney, as well as Manny and Estaline Vezie’s grandchildren, Lisa “Bun Bun” Swann, Keith Bunney, Laura Bunney, and Kyle Vezie. Also in attendance was Oliver Hoxie (Kyle’s son), Manny’s great-grandson.

Other multigenerational families in attendance included:
Marcia Piper (camper 1968-1970) and her son Michael (camper early 1990s)

Susan and Harry Macy (staff 1967-1971), their daughter Chelsea “Chelster” Rowe (camper 1980, staff member 1990-present), and granddaughter Macy “Catavee” Rowe (camper & current staff member).

Doug Balatti (staff member 1968, 1969, 1971) accompanied by his daughter, son-in-law and future camper grandchildren.

The Daubert Family including Camp Doctor Patrick “Ryder” (2011-2023), Camp Doctor Janeline”Red” (2012-2016), Paloma (camper 2011-2021), and Avery “Sprocket” (camper 2011-2021, staff member 2023).

The Tucknott/Norton Family – Dad Rod Tucknott was a camper and staff member, and the Tucknott kids include Asher (camper) and Sydney “Crush” (camper & 2023 staff member).

Stay in touch with your GAC Family and make sure you stay tuned for the 100th GAC celebration in 2033! 

Do you have alumni friends who you’d like us to add to our alumni email list? Please complete this form and let’s include them!

Alumni Guestbook
Sierra Summers GAC History Book
Bonfire Online GAC Store
Manny Vezie Fund Donations

“Sis” Receives 2023 Coach’s Award

In 2009, Gold Arrow Camp lost a dear friend. Ken “Coach” Baker (March 10, 1951 – April 5, 2009) worked at GAC as Camp Assistant Director and Director from 1981-1992 and had a huge, positive impact on many of us who are still here at camp today. Ken was instrumental in helping Sunshine purchase Gold Arrow from Jeanie Vezie in 1989, and mentored Sunshine, Monkey, Woody, Chelster, Tigger, Junior, Trapper, and many other GAC staff during their early years working at camp.

Ken “Coach” Baker, Jeanie Vezie and Sunshine in 1989

Ken had an amazing way of making even mundane tasks like picking up trash and painting buildings feel monumentally important. He had a way of clapping his hands together and giving a pep talk that got everyone fired up to do their jobs well. Ken had a near-constant smile on his face and took every challenge that came his way in stride. We all knew we could go to him with any problem and he would help us figure out how to fix it.

To honor Ken, in 2009 we established “Coach’s Award.” This award has been given each year since to a leader at camp, nominated by his/her peers, who motivates others through positive leadership and encouraging words and exemplifies Ken “Coach” Baker’s dedication to GAC’s vision.

To select each year’s recipient, we ask the entire staff to complete a nomination form, where they put the name of one person whom they think deserves this honor. They include comments about the person they nominate. We have such a high caliber of staff, many of whom are extremely positive and exemplify what Coach stood for, and we are grateful for the legacy he left us and that so many people at GAC are incredibly positive and motivating to others.

2023’s recipient, Brooke “Sis” Howard, stood out in those many nominations for her patient and positive leadership of our youngest campers, her infectious positive attitude, and for her love of camp. Sis’ name has been added to Coach’s Award, which hangs in our camp post office.

Sis (second from left) on the pontoon boat during her first summer at GAC (2010).

Sis has a long history at GAC. She was a camper for four years, from 2010-2013, and joined our staff in 2021. During her first summer (2010) Sis’ group counselor was Cheerio, who is also a Coach’s Award recipient! Sis has primarily worked as a group counselor for our youngest campers (ages 6-8) and has shown exemplary counseling skills. Her brother, Jack “Ski” Howard is also a long-time camper and staff member.

Sis (on the right) representing GAC at the Newport Mesa Spirit Run.

Camp Director, Alison “Bean” Moeschberger says about Sis: “In her three years as a Group Counselor for our youngest campers, Sis has shown herself to be a strong, confident leader who is dedicated to giving her campers the very best experience for their first year at camp. She is the quintessential Bears’ Group Counselor and provides her campers with the ideal balance of assistance and independence. She encourages her campers to get the most from their time at camp and pushes them, gently, to grow and embrace challenges along the way. Her constant smile is the physical representation of the love and care shining from her heart. Sis has left a lasting impression on every camper and counselor who has been fortunate to spend time with her, and the impact she has had will be felt for many years. Sis is one of the strongest and most humble counselors we have ever had, and I am grateful for the work she has done to help everyone she encounters love GAC as much as she does.”

There were many amazing comments about Sis in her nominations from her fellow counselors, including:

I am nominating Sis because she is an inspiration to so many around camp. She makes us want to be better counselors for not only the children, but to each other. The way I view it is that she’s like a matchstick, though some may see this as small she lights the fire that keeps GAC and everything it stand for alight. She is simply a joy and embodies what it means to be a good counselor. I don’t think that there is anyone more deserving than her.

Sis is a reliable, thoughtful, and affectionate counselor to her campers and friend to all of the staff. Regardless of the session, you can always see her campers attached to her hip and that speaks towards her campers love for her. What really amazes me is that I cannot remember a Morning Assembly where she is not bubble braiding her girls’ hair. All of her campers are so lucky to call Sis their counselor and all of GAC is lucky to have her on staff.

Sis at her first Bears’ Adventure (2010).

I am nominating Sis because I think that she is such an awesome, inspiring, and caring counselor that really embodies what it means to be kind. Seeing her with little kids is so touching and you can really tell that she has a great impact not only on campers, but also co’s. Her friendly and caring personality can not be missed at GAC and I really thnk that it deserves recognition!

She puts her all into every second of her job. She finds reward and pride in all the little things from all her little ones. On activity, she puts out what I see as day-ending fires with a couple tight yet compassionate words. She makes me reconsider the love with which it’s possible to interact with campers. When I speak to a young camper I try to channel her, on my best days and on my worst days. The Bear Trap is held up by her pragmatism and joy. So much attention is given to the impact on older campers that the sniper-lever precision with which she cares for camp can sometimes be overlooked. As far as I’m concerned, she never fails to treat campers admirably. I look up to her and everything she’s accomplished.

Sis at Bears’ Adventure with her cabin group, Session 4, 2023.

Every time I see her with her cabin, she is always smiling and her girls are too. She has endless patience and kindness, and she always makes sure to say “Hi” and wave when we pass each other, even though we don’t know each other super well. I am always so impressed by her ability to solve problems and help her girls have fun. They will always remember her as one of their favorite counselors.

She has the most dedicated, inspiring outlook on everything and is constantly impressing everyone around her, while never taking her focus off of her campers. Every chance I’ve gotten to witness her leadership style and limitless positivity I am absolutely blown away. She is so incredibly deserving of this award.

Sis, center, with previous Coach’s Award recipents Bravo (left) and Foxtrot (right).

I have never known a better person. Every year I am amazing by her ability to not only make her campers’ lives better, but everyone on staff as well. She has the patience of a saint and can always be counted on to make anything fun. I can think of no one more deserving than Sis. To know her is to love her. Camp is made better because of her.

A genuinely amazing counselor that cares about her campers like no other. She listens, cares, and is always so positive.

 

She is the most patient and caring counselor/person I have ever met. She does so much each day and asks for so little back. She just sincerely loves what she does and leaving an impact on people however she can. I look to her when I want inspiration to be a better counselor.

I’ve never heard Sis complain once. All of her campers adore and idolize her. She has the most welcoming and kind demeanor and is truly a friend to every camper and counselor at Gold Arrow. No one embodies coaches’ vision quite like Sis. Once again she has the most patient and charismatic soul.

As a Junior Counselor, Sis was the Group Counselor for my cabin. Ever since that summer I was so inspired by her. She gives every day her all and I’ve truly never seen someone fit so well as a bear’s counselor. Now as a counselor she has continued to be a mentor and getting to see her around camp brightens my day. I would not be the counselor I am today without her.

She is such a wonderful leader for the bears counselors. She is always smiling and being positive, and being a great counselor comes naturally. I think she is an awesome example for all the counselors at camp.

Every time I see her around camp she is always full of energy. Her love for both camp and her campers always brightens my day. She always leaves a positive impact on others and kills it with the Bears.

I believe that Sis is one of the best if not the best Bears counselor at camp. She is such a mother figure to the young girls and is always so sympathetic. Whenever you see her around camp she is always so engaging and does everything the girls want her to do, if not more. Her position as a counselor is just so great and she deserves this award for her hard work.

Sis was one of the first Group Counselors I had on activity and immediately she made me feel at home. She verbally reassured me I was good at my job and was always in my corner when I needed help. Over the summer, I have consistently seen her campers feel so loved and have loads of fun, all thanks to her. She has arguably the toughest age group at GAC and makes it look like a walk in the park. I aspire to be like her.

She is the most outstanding counselor. You can tell she loves the job and everything that comes with it. The highs and lows are always there, but she does something to always look at the bright side of things and keep her girls energy and spark up. I really look up to her and believe she deserves this award. I knew she had to win this award ever since I saw her reading after showers to her campers and engaging with her girls after the most mundane and tedious activity. Sis rocks!

I believe Sis is truly talented and gifted as a bears Group Counselor. She constantly greets everyone with a smile and a how are you regardless of how she’s doing. She always puts her campers first and every camper has left a better version of themselves because of her . I am always in awe of her as a GC and her kind heart, willingness to support anyone, and unfailing upbeat attitude. She has proven herself year after year as someone who deserves Coach’s award.

She was so dedicated, caring, loving, and amazing counselor. Being her co the whole summer was a blessing. I learned a lot from her, and the way she loves her work and camp that it makes me feel the same way. She is a person who is easy to love and admire. I’m so happy for having her with me this summer.

I love Sis. She is the sweetest person ever. Absolutely LOVE being in the bear trap with her all summer. She was so welcoming and I am so lucky to get to call you one of my greatest friends. She’s a huge part of why people love GAC. She’s incredible with the bears and you can really see how much they look up to you sister. Forever and ever bear trap sisters!

She has handled the ups and downs of being a baby bears GC with stride and always looks to pick others up whether they are a counselor or camper. She embodies what being a GAC counselor is about, showing love, caring about others, and letting others feel comfortable being themselves. Sis is inspiring and a role model for all.

I would like to nominate Sis. She is possibly one of the kindest people I have ever met. She makes time for every counselor at this camp and is always checking on people. The fact she has the time and energy to do that in addition to being one of the best bear GCs is a testament to her as a person. She is kind and supportive of every camper she has and has endless patience that I could not even begin to replicate. She stands for everything we as counselors should try to achieve and I am so happy and privileged to have gotten to know her this summer.

She is really good with campers. She deals with their problems easily and at the same time, she makes them have a great time. She is always there for them. She does more than she needs to do and keeps the girls entertained. She’s always with a smile on her face and she never looks stressed or exhausted. Their girls love her and she’s an amazing role model.
The work she does with her bears is just incredible. In my two years working at GAC I’ve seen in many instances how kind, motherly, loving encouraging, and warm she is to her campers. She works so so well with them and controls any little crisis just so so well. It’s almost like nothing ruffles her feathers, she does it all so seamlessly and I love seeing that.

I had the privilege to be her co during Session 1 & 2. She is an incredible counselor being one of her ACs was an amazing experience. She cared so much for every child and truly made them have the best experience possible, from hair braiding to the rig a bamboo. Around camp she has a warm presence and always makes others feel welcome. She was my hero during Tweek and took me under her wing. She cares for her cos so well. She is an understanding, compassionate, and caring person and truly embodies what this camp is about.

I personally think Sis should win, not just because of the nice, caring person that she is, but because of what an awesome GC she is. Every session that I’ve had her cabin, they’re super energetic, polite, and enthusiastic. She always seems calm in any situation and to me she unites the bear trap and is always so passionate towards her kids. I think she deserves the recognition.

She is a respected counselor, kind, and very interactive with kids. She is always interested in showing kids the appropriate way and gives her 200% every day. She would be my Coach’s Award Nomination!

Sis is an outstanding counselor. She has unwavering patience and calmness with the campers. Everytime I have interacted with Sis and her cabin, She is caring and loving with her campers. Her hard work and excellent counseling does not go unnoticed. She cares for the bears in every way possible. Campers look up to her. She is an outstanding role model. Her future is incredibly bright as a teaching – keep being yourself Sis!

From seeing how incredible she is with her girls, to spreading positivity with a smile on the dining porch I think Sis is the most deserving of this award. I honestly have not spent that much time with her aside from one activity on Bears Adventure and always running into her and her girls in Shower Tower. I can just tell how much love she has for this place and her kids, and of course how much they love her.

By having the heart of gold and checking in with everyone she comes across, Sis should be nominated for coach’s award this year. She has such a positive attitude being able to handle the youngest bears girls without being frustrated easily even with the littlest of problems. Sis is so fun to talk to and invites any counselor into the conversation even if on the outside of the convo. She takes control of her bears with ease without being too demanding and that helps them respect her even more.

Sis has become a vital part of the energy and brilliance of camp, especially this summer. Sis’s unwavering positive attitude (she’s got ‘tude) and three years of dedication to our Beartrap- all seemingly effortless. Sis makes my GAC happier and brighter through all the simple interactions. Thank you Sis for returning through the years.

Sis is someone at camp who makes others feel and understand that they belong. It is who she is, Sister, she is always there as a beam of kindness to others. I have never had a moment that I didn’t leave feeling good about myself and seen. She shows genuine love and care for campers, counselors, and is someone who makes GAC a better place. I am constantly inspired by her dedication and what she does here. I love Sister!

There is something special about the way Sis interacts with the people around her. She brings never-ending, positive energy to every situation, and the genuine care she has for her campers is inspiring. I consider myself lucky to have worked with her, and even luckier to know her as a friend.

I have been the luckiest person to be able to be her co-counselor for two years now and she still amazes me with new things of how to make the kids have the best summer. She is not only great with kids but also with all the counselors, she is supportive and I can’t wait to see all the things she does next. Thank you Sis for being the person that helped me enjoy my second camp experience, your love from camp is contagious.

Sis is an incredible counselor. She is so incredibly patient, kind, and competent with both her campers and everyone at camp. She smiles at anyone she sees and is always there if you need anything. She is the embodiment of everything camp is. I think she would be the perfect recipient.

She has always been a great leader among GCs and really welcomed me into Tweek when I didn’t know anyone. Always has the best smile on her face and does an amazing job with her cabin always.

I nominate Sis for being an exceptionally positive, hardworking, nurturing counselor for her campers at all times. She of course struggles at times, but always has a positive attitude. She makes camp fun and has a smile on her face always. She is a leader and role model for so many people here.

We are so thankful for Sis and her many years at GAC and are thrilled that she was this year’s Coach’s Award recipient! Congratulations, Sis!

Ask Questions

At camp, we spend a lot of time getting to know each other around the campfire, at meals, and while walking around camp. Many campers who were strangers to each other when they arrived at camp report feeling even closer to the cabin mates they’ve only known for a few weeks than they feel to school friends they’ve known for years. Why is that? One of the reasons is that they’ve had a lot of time to talk with each other. All those conversations help campers build strong friendships.

One friendship skill we practice at camp is learning to ask questions, to listen well using active listening skills, and to ask follow up questions rather than interjecting our stories and ideas right away. Questions help keep a conversation flowing and help us get to know others better. Here’s Sunshine talking about why this is an important social skill our kids need to practice:

 

Download our camp posters to use at home!

What do people most like to talk about?

You may think the answer is something very specific – like sports or a favorite video game or TV show. It’s likely that when I asked that question you thought about what you most like to talk about. It’s true that people really enjoy talking about things they’re interested in. And what they’re most interested in are hobbies and things they enjoy most. People like to talk about themselves, so the best questions to ask to get to know someone better are questions that give them the opportunity to share their interests and stories.

When you ask good questions, it not only helps you get to know your friend better, but it also makes them like you more and want to spend more time with you.

Kids (and adults) who master question-asking, listening, and follow-up are well-liked because they give people the opportunity to share about themselves.

Since asking good questions is the entry point for building friendships wherever you are and whatever your age, it’s an excellent friendship skill to practice and improve.

How to Ask Good Questions

When you’re going into a new situation where you’ll be talking with people you’ve just met or if you’re wanting to build closer friendships with kids you already know, take a few minutes to brainstorm a few good questions you might ask that are appropriate to the setting.

If you’re at school and it’s recess or lunch, you might ask about their interests, favorite foods (perhaps spurred by something you see them snacking on), their family, or how they spend their time after school.

If you get nervous talking with people you don’t know, practice asking questions with your parent, older sibling, or another trusted adult before you go into the new setting. Get their feedback about which questions they enjoyed most.

Campers last summer brainstormed a lot of fun questions to ask friends. You can check out the list here if you want some question ideas!

Question Asking Tips

Once you’ve figured out a few good questions to ask, here are a few important tips:

After you’ve asked the question, listen carefully to the answer without interrupting. If you’re excited or agree with the person, nodding your head and smiling let’s them know you’re “with them” and interested.

Sometimes, their answer gives you the opportunity to ask follow up questions.

For example, you might have first asked,
“Do you like to play any sports?”

And they answer, “No, but I really enjoy music.”

You could ask, “Do you play an instrument or sing?”

And so on.

By listening to their response to your original question, you’ll have a path for figuring out more questions to ask.

If you’re chatting again another day, you can circle back and ask how their piano practice is going or what song they’re learning to play.

Showing your friend that you care about what they care about is a great way to build your friendship, so asking good questions and listening well not only helps you get to know your friend better but will also help you know what to ask them more about later.

Is there someone you’d like to get to know better? Think about a good question you can ask to get to know them better and ask the question next time you’re with them!

Below are 50 questions that our 2019 campers brainstormed. Click here for a printable version!

If you’d like to use the questions at home, you can download them here.

Download Sunshine’s “Questions for Connection,” one of many helpful resources from her book HAPPY CAMPERS: 9 Summer Camp Secrets for Raising Kids Who Become Thriving Adults.

36 Questions to Get Closer to Someone You Love

Teaching Campers the Friendship Skill of Asking Questions

Research Finds Children Learn Social Skills At Camp

Why Kids Make Their Closest Friends at Camp

10 Friendship Skills Every Kid Needs

Talking with Kids about Friendship

10 Social Skills Kids Learn at Camp

Connection Through Questions

 

Today’s Friendship Tip: Find Your Best Calm Down Strategy

Today at Morning Assembly, we talked about the important skill of learning to “unflip our lids” by figuring out our go-to calm down strategies for when we’re feeling irritated, frustrated, annoyed, or angry with our friends. We talked about how it’s important to learn how to “unflip our lids” when we’re upset.

Flipping Your Lid

We talked with campers about how sometimes we “Flip our Lids” and how being a good friend to others means learning good strategies for calming ourselves down so that we can interact with our friends in ways that build up – not tear down – our friendships. We talked about how when our lids are flipped, our thinking brain isn’t in charge and we’re being led by our big feelings. When our lids are flipped, we often say or do things that make our friends feel bad and that we later regret.

We shared our brief summary of Dr. Dan Siegel’s Hand Brain Model with campers:

And we’ve shared this poster with campers so they can see a visual about a flipped verses unflipped brain.

Calm Down Strategies

We then had campers share their favorite calm-down strategies, and they had so many! We also shared this poster with more ideas:

 

 

Summer 2024 Registration Now Open for Returning GAC Families!

Hello GAC Families!

Registration for Summer 2024 is now open for returning GAC campers (and siblings) and families who were wait-listed for 2023. We cannot guarantee or hold space for your camper and registrations will be processed on a first-come first-served basis. We recommend enrolling as close to August 1 as possible and before September 16 when we open enrollment for new camp families.

Some age groups in our two and three-week sessions are wait list only so be sure to check out the 2024 Dates & Rates, 2024 Availability, and contact us if you have any questions. Please enroll your camper through your My GAC Login or the Campanion app.

 

Apologizing Well

Because all of us make mistakes in our relationships, an important friendship skill is learning how to apologize sincerely and effectively. Apologizing well when we hurt a friend with our words or actions is a skill we’re working on growing this summer at GAC.

In just about every conflict, the disagreement or issue is never ALL one person’s fault. Usually both people did or said something that hurt the other person. With campers, we brainstorm examples of conflicts they get into with friends – often minor things like disputes over card games or using an item that belongs to someone else without asking. Sometimes, we unintentionally hurt a friend.

Apologizing well includes owning up to mistakes and apologizing for words or actions that hurt another person. A sincere and thoughtful apology is the most effective way to resolve conflicts with friends & family members.

Conflicts are a normal part of all relationships, so we are normalizing for campers that all of us – at times – need to apologize to our friends.  These are the simple steps to making a meaningful apology when we’ve done or said something we regret or that has hurt our friend.

6 Steps to a Good Apology

  1. Use the words, “I’m sorry.”

  2. Acknowledge exactly how you messed up.

    “I used unkind words that hurt your feelings.”

  3. Tell how you were feeling and why you think you did the thing.

    “I was feeling jealous of how well you did at wake boarding, so I made an unkind comment.”

  4. Tell the person how you’ll fix the situation.

    “I’d like to share some things that I really admire about you so that you understand how much I like you. And I’m going to take a breath before I make impulsive comments.”

  5. Promise to behave better next time.

    “I’m going to do my best to not blurt out unkind things. If I mess up, I want you to tell me.”

  6. Ask for forgiveness.

    “Will you forgive me for messing up your card game?”

    Download the PDF to print for yourself.

Resources/Related

5 Steps to Help Kids Resolve Conflicts

 

 

It’s Goal Setting Tuesday!

Today at morning assembly, we talked about the importance of getting outside our comfort zone and getting into our “growth zone” as we try new things at camp. Camper Jojo shared about how she’s gotten out of her comfort zone and learned many new skills over her eight summers at GAC. We also talked about setting SMART goals for this camp session.

Comfort Zone & Growth Zone

We talked about how each of us has our “comfort zone” of activities we’re accustomed to and we feel totally relaxed doing. When we’re trying new things and in our “growth zone,” our hearts may be racing a little bit and our breathing can get more audible. We naturally feel a bit of stress and discomfort, because we are experiencing something new.

Sharing our nervousness with others, and understanding that most of us feel the same way when we’re trying something new, can help us push through the discomfort and discover new things we really enjoy at camp. An example we talked about was going on the high ropes course. Many of us feel nervous about being up so high, but for campers like Jojo, who’ve been at camp for many years and gone across the ropes course numerous times, it can start feeling comfortable up there. To get in our growth zone at an activity we have a lot of experience with, we need to try a new skill – like going across the course blind-folded!

For some of us, an activity is just too far outside our comfort zone right now, and that’s okay, too. That is what we can call our “red zone” or “blackout zone,” and it’s okay to pull back and just take baby steps into our growth zone as we expand our comfort zone trying new things.

Setting SMART Goals

At tonight’s cabin campfires, the sharing topic is our goal(s) for the session. We talked about creating SMART goals and reviewed the SMART Goal acronym:

Specific
Measurable
Attainable
Relevant
Time-Based

Download your own copy of our SMART Goal poster by clicking the image below. 

We also gave campers some examples of goals related to friendships or activities. The goal examples were:

Write three WOWs today to encourage my friends.

Learn to capsize and right a sailboat by the end of Session 2.

We brainstormed action items for learning to capsize and right a sailboat and campers came up with:

  1. Sign up for sailing for free time to get in extra practice.
  2. Ask questions and listen to coaching from sailing instructors.
  3. Learn from mistakes.

Why Kids Need to Get Uncomfortable

Grit is Grown Outside the Comfort Zone

Understanding Kids’ Comfort, Growth, and Blackout Zones

Want to read more about bringing some of the “magic” of GAC home? Check out Audrey “Sunshine” Monke’s book HAPPY CAMPERS, which is available on Audible!

Today’s Friendship Skill: Introduce Yourself!

Monday evening at Camper Orientation, we reviewed the important friendship skill (especially when you’re at a new place!) of introducing yourself to others. Campers practiced introducing themselves to a camper in another cabin group (since they already met everyone in their own cabin group yesterday).

We’re already making friends here at GAC!

7 Simple Steps to Teach Kids to Introduce Themselves

How to Respond to a Homesick Letter from Your Camper

The Sad Letter

You’re anticipating with much excitement your camper’s first letter from camp. It finally arrives, and this is what it says…

“I want to come home!”

“It’s awful here.”

“I hate everything.”

“This is worse than prison.”

From: https://thoughtcatalog.com/melanie-berliet/2013/08/10-desperate-letters-i-wrote-from-sleepaway-camp-and-the-separation-anxiety-i-still-cant-shake/

Your Options

Option #1:  Hop in your car and drive to rescue your child immediately.

Option #2:  Take a deep breath and think about possible next steps. 

As a veteran camp director with a lot of experience helping campers (and parents) work through the difficult transition that often accompanies being away from home, especially the first time, I would highly recommend you choose option 2. It will be better for both you and your child.

Getting a sad letter from your child is difficult, but, as experienced camp parents will tell you, you should expect to receive at least one sad letter during your camper’s time at camp. Letters are usually written during quiet times when campers are feeling more reflective. Often, even when they’ve written a super sad letter, the camper is actually adjusting well to camp and is letting you know the emotions they felt during a particularly down time (like rest hour or bedtime).

Next Steps

If you feel uneasy after hearing from your camper, here are a few steps you can take (after your deep breaths, of course):

Positive Messages for a Homesick Camper

Whether you’re communicating with your camper via postcards, letters, email, or phone, here are some ideas for how you can respond to their sad, homesick pleas from camp.

Validate Feelings

Your child might be genuinely feeling severe discomfort from being away from home. Acknowledge that by saying, “I know you feel miserable right now and I’m sorry this is so hard for you.” However, if they ask to be picked up early or talk to you on the phone, remind them that you’re going to stick with letter-writing only and that you’re not coming to get them early!

Provide Encouragement

Reassure them that you have confidence in their ability to face this challenge and have a great camp experience. Say, “Even though you don’t feel like you can do this, I know you can.” Let them know how proud you are of their independence and how excited you are to hear of their accomplishments when they finish camp.

Redirect

Redirect the conversation to something positive. Comment on a recent picture you saw of them online: I saw a picture of you jumping off your paddle board! It looked like so much fun! You can also help your child focus on the positive by reminding them of some of the positive things of camp that they don’t get to experience at home: “I can’t believe you get to have a campfire with marshmallows every night. Lucky duck!” Sometimes kids are concerned that they’re missing out on things happening at home or get worried about you missing them too much. Update them on some of the boring, busywork happening at home to assure them that camp is where they’re supposed to be. Asking questions about an activity they were particularly excited about or about their cabin mates and counselors can also be fun.

Remember the WHY of camp

As you deal with hearing about your child’s discomfort, it’s important to remind yourself and your camper why you chose the camp experience in the first place! Sometimes homesickness is part of the growth process, but we can instill confidence in our campers by encouraging them through uncomfortable and challenging situations rather than completely removing them from all sources of discomfort.

For many kids, camp is their first step toward independence. Leaving the familiarity of home for the first time, most kids experience some degree of discomfort or unease as they adjust to new people, activities, challenges, and experiences. These feelings of discomfort are completely normal, and it is important to discuss the normalcy of homesickness and feeling uncomfortable in new environments before your child leaves for camp.

In Homesick and Happy, Michael Thompson says that “Homesickness is not a psychiatric illness.  It is not a disorder. It is the natural, inevitable consequence of leaving home.  Every child is going to feel it, more or less, sooner or later. Every adult has had to face it and overcome it at some point in life … If you cannot master it, you cannot leave home.”

Real growth only comes when we’re stretched beyond our comfort zones, and that is why so many campers grow more confident during their time at camp: their comfort zone is stretched and they succeed in meeting the new challenges. Some kids end up adjusting and feeling comfortable quickly while others have a harder time adjusting. Either way, there are several ways you can both prepare and support your camper before and during their time at camp.

The biggest struggle for parents often is having to hear about the discomfort of their children as they navigate homesickness, but experienced camp leaders are well-equipped to encourage and come alongside both you and your child to make camp the most positive experience possible!

Article originally published at Sunshine Parenting.

Audrey “Sunshine” Monke, MA, has been the owner of Gold Arrow Camp since 1989 and currently serves as the Chief Visionary Officer. In addition to her vision-casting and mentoring at GAC, Sunshine is an author (Happy Campers: 9 Summer Camp Secrets for Raising Kids Who Become Thriving Adults), podcast host, speaker and coach on the topics of parenting, social skills, and happiness. Find out more at her website, Sunshine Parenting.

Sunshine & Michael Thompson, Ph.D. on the GAC POGcast

Homesickness

Homesick and Happy Book Discussion Guide

“Kidsickness: Help for First-Time Camp Parents”

Resources

10 Desperate Letters I Wrote From Sleepaway Camp

P.S. I Hate it Here (Book of letters from camp)

P.S. I Still Hate it Here

Homesick & Happy: How Time Away from Parents Can Help a Child Grow (book) by Michael Thompson, Ph.D.

Summer Camp Handbook (online edition), by Dr. Christopher Thurber

American Camp Association

June Parent Coffee

“Unplug to Connect”

Most of us feel like we and our kids are spending too much time on our screens, but what can we realistically do to change? Are you interested in changing your family’s relationships to screens? Because we are a completely unplugged camp (staff, too!), one of the best things that happens at GAC is the tech detox. Join us for a discussion about using your child’s time at camp this summer as a catalyst for family-wide improvements in your relationships with screens and with each other!