Our Favorite Read Aloud Books

At Gold Arrow Camp, the tradition of reading to campers every night holds a special place in the daily routine. After roasting marshmallows around the campfire and getting ready for bed, counselors read a book aloud to their campers. Even our oldest campers enjoy this nightly practice! 

Reading builds empathy, and is a powerful tool for helping campers develop kindness and compassion towards one another. Reading ignites camaraderie and conversation as campers think and talk about the situations and challenges the characters face. Many campers share with us that listening to a story in their sleeping bags is one of their favorite parts of the day. 

Five Tips for Choosing a Great Read Aloud Book at Home

  1. Start a series! Many counselors choose to read the first book in a series to their campers. While some of the books are larger (and cabin groups are not always able to finish the book), many campers report that they’re going to read the rest of the book when they get home, or read the next book in the series. A series offers continuity and an opportunity for campers to invest in the characters, setting, and plot. If you are trying to encourage more reading at home, one strategy is to start reading a series together. A child might choose to finish reading the series on their own. When I was little, my mom read the first three Harry Potter Books to me aloud. After reading three books together, I read the final four installments independently as they were released. Starting the series together helped me invest in the characters and made me excited for the new releases!
  2. Use online resources to find books that align with your child’s interests. Goodreads and Common Sense Media both offer reviews and ratings for children’s books. Goodreads also provides a fun way to start a “Reading Challenge” and set a reading goal for the year. At Gold Arrow Camp, we use Common Sense Media to guide counselors towards the perfect age-appropriate books.
  3. Visit your local library or bookstore, and involve your child in the selection process to foster ownership!
  4. Choose a book that has been made into a movie, and plan a family movie night when you finish reading the book. This is a great way to engage in discussions about a story, and talk about changes made from the book to the movie version.
  5. If your child is older and wants to read independently, find a time to read together as a family, or start a family book club and read the same book at the same time. In Michele Borba’s book Unselfie, Borba recommends looking at your child’s required reading list for school and picking up an additional copy for yourself!

Our Counselors’ Favorite Read Aloud Books

Bears (Grades K-2)

Tigers (Grades 3-5)

Lions (Grades 6-8)

Eagles (Grades 9-10)

Building Empathy – Our 2024 Summer Theme!

Building Empathy is our 2024 Summer Theme! 

Empathy is our ability to understand how others feel, and building our empathy skills are foundational for closer friendships and improved well-being. In a world that is increasingly divided, building empathy is vital to cultivating meaningful relationships with people from diverse backgrounds.

Empathy is a skill that can be practiced, and this summer, we will focus on six tools to help campers cultivate empathy:

  1. Active Listening
  2. Emotional Literacy
  3. Perspective-Taking
  4. Storytelling
  5. Disagreeing without Debating
  6. Being an Upstander

Our logo this year includes a blueprint drawing and construction tools. A blueprint drawing is one of the first phases in planning and design during a construction project. Just as architects must consider various perspectives when designing a building to meet the needs of different users, developing empathy requires understanding and appreciating the perspectives of others. A blueprint also provides a comprehensive plan for a building, considering not just its individual components but how they interact to create a functional and harmonious space. Empathy requires seeing the whole picture by considering the emotions, experiences, and circumstances that shape others’ perspectives and behaviors.

Just as construction tools are used to measure, cut, and shape materials, empathy involves using various “tools” such as active listening, perspective-taking, and emotional literacy to understand others’ experiences, perspectives, and emotions.A well-equipped construction toolkit contains a variety of tools for different tasks and situations. Just as construction tools are used to build structures that connect people and communities, empathy serves as a tool for building bridges and connections between individuals, fostering mutual understanding, compassion, and cooperation.

This summer, we will talk about how we can build our empathy each day at Morning Assembly, and we’ll be adding skills to our empathy “toolkits.” At campers’ nightly cabin campfires, counselors will facilitate empathy-related discussions, and help campers practice active listening and storytelling through daily sharing. 

Building Empathy is about putting less emphasis on “me” and more emphasis on “we.” Empathy builders connect with others in meaningful ways and seek to better understand how others are feeling. Our goal is for campers and staff to become empathy builders in their schools, workplaces, and communities. 

Our theme this summer builds many of our past themes related to gratitude, kindness, kindness (Cool 2B Kind), relationship building (Creating Connections), helpfulness (Give a Hand), grit (Growing Grit), positivity (The Energy Bus), a focus on friendship (Find-a-Friend), building up others (Filling Buckets), being our best selves (Be You), appreciating our community (Better Together), and Choosing Kindness (2022). 

We can’t wait to build our empathy skills together this summer!

Alumni Gather to Celebrate GAC’s 90th Summer

On August 19, 2023, 150 camper and staff alumni, spanning every decade from the 1940s through the 2000s, joined many current GAC staff, to celebrate Gold Arrow Camp’s 90th summer.

Photos from the event can be seen here.

Watch the 90th Reunion Slide Show.

Alumni arrived in the afternoon for tours of camp, reconnecting with camp friends and meeting new ones, and boat rides on Huntington Lake. . Attendees with memories from GAC’s earliest years were Manny Vezie’s children, Tim Vezie and Diana “Bunny” Vezie Bunney, as well as Manny and Estaline Vezie’s grandchildren, Lisa “Bun Bun” Swann, Keith Bunney, Laura Bunney, and Kyle Vezie. Also in attendance was Oliver Hoxie (Kyle’s son), Manny’s great-grandson.

Other multigenerational families in attendance included:
Marcia Piper (camper 1968-1970) and her son Michael (camper early 1990s)

Susan and Harry Macy (staff 1967-1971), their daughter Chelsea “Chelster” Rowe (camper 1980, staff member 1990-present), and granddaughter Macy “Catavee” Rowe (camper & current staff member).

Doug Balatti (staff member 1968, 1969, 1971) accompanied by his daughter, son-in-law and future camper grandchildren.

The Daubert Family including Camp Doctor Patrick “Ryder” (2011-2023), Camp Doctor Janeline”Red” (2012-2016), Paloma (camper 2011-2021), and Avery “Sprocket” (camper 2011-2021, staff member 2023).

The Tucknott/Norton Family – Dad Rod Tucknott was a camper and staff member, and the Tucknott kids include Asher (camper) and Sydney “Crush” (camper & 2023 staff member).

Stay in touch with your GAC Family and make sure you stay tuned for the 100th GAC celebration in 2033! 

Do you have alumni friends who you’d like us to add to our alumni email list? Please complete this form and let’s include them!

Alumni Guestbook
Sierra Summers GAC History Book
Bonfire Online GAC Store
Manny Vezie Fund Donations

“Sis” Receives 2023 Coach’s Award

In 2009, Gold Arrow Camp lost a dear friend. Ken “Coach” Baker (March 10, 1951 – April 5, 2009) worked at GAC as Camp Assistant Director and Director from 1981-1992 and had a huge, positive impact on many of us who are still here at camp today. Ken was instrumental in helping Sunshine purchase Gold Arrow from Jeanie Vezie in 1989, and mentored Sunshine, Monkey, Woody, Chelster, Tigger, Junior, Trapper, and many other GAC staff during their early years working at camp.

Ken “Coach” Baker, Jeanie Vezie and Sunshine in 1989

Ken had an amazing way of making even mundane tasks like picking up trash and painting buildings feel monumentally important. He had a way of clapping his hands together and giving a pep talk that got everyone fired up to do their jobs well. Ken had a near-constant smile on his face and took every challenge that came his way in stride. We all knew we could go to him with any problem and he would help us figure out how to fix it.

To honor Ken, in 2009 we established “Coach’s Award.” This award has been given each year since to a leader at camp, nominated by his/her peers, who motivates others through positive leadership and encouraging words and exemplifies Ken “Coach” Baker’s dedication to GAC’s vision.

To select each year’s recipient, we ask the entire staff to complete a nomination form, where they put the name of one person whom they think deserves this honor. They include comments about the person they nominate. We have such a high caliber of staff, many of whom are extremely positive and exemplify what Coach stood for, and we are grateful for the legacy he left us and that so many people at GAC are incredibly positive and motivating to others.

2023’s recipient, Brooke “Sis” Howard, stood out in those many nominations for her patient and positive leadership of our youngest campers, her infectious positive attitude, and for her love of camp. Sis’ name has been added to Coach’s Award, which hangs in our camp post office.

Sis (second from left) on the pontoon boat during her first summer at GAC (2010).

Sis has a long history at GAC. She was a camper for four years, from 2010-2013, and joined our staff in 2021. During her first summer (2010) Sis’ group counselor was Cheerio, who is also a Coach’s Award recipient! Sis has primarily worked as a group counselor for our youngest campers (ages 6-8) and has shown exemplary counseling skills. Her brother, Jack “Ski” Howard is also a long-time camper and staff member.

Sis (on the right) representing GAC at the Newport Mesa Spirit Run.

Camp Director, Alison “Bean” Moeschberger says about Sis: “In her three years as a Group Counselor for our youngest campers, Sis has shown herself to be a strong, confident leader who is dedicated to giving her campers the very best experience for their first year at camp. She is the quintessential Bears’ Group Counselor and provides her campers with the ideal balance of assistance and independence. She encourages her campers to get the most from their time at camp and pushes them, gently, to grow and embrace challenges along the way. Her constant smile is the physical representation of the love and care shining from her heart. Sis has left a lasting impression on every camper and counselor who has been fortunate to spend time with her, and the impact she has had will be felt for many years. Sis is one of the strongest and most humble counselors we have ever had, and I am grateful for the work she has done to help everyone she encounters love GAC as much as she does.”

There were many amazing comments about Sis in her nominations from her fellow counselors, including:

I am nominating Sis because she is an inspiration to so many around camp. She makes us want to be better counselors for not only the children, but to each other. The way I view it is that she’s like a matchstick, though some may see this as small she lights the fire that keeps GAC and everything it stand for alight. She is simply a joy and embodies what it means to be a good counselor. I don’t think that there is anyone more deserving than her.

Sis is a reliable, thoughtful, and affectionate counselor to her campers and friend to all of the staff. Regardless of the session, you can always see her campers attached to her hip and that speaks towards her campers love for her. What really amazes me is that I cannot remember a Morning Assembly where she is not bubble braiding her girls’ hair. All of her campers are so lucky to call Sis their counselor and all of GAC is lucky to have her on staff.

Sis at her first Bears’ Adventure (2010).

I am nominating Sis because I think that she is such an awesome, inspiring, and caring counselor that really embodies what it means to be kind. Seeing her with little kids is so touching and you can really tell that she has a great impact not only on campers, but also co’s. Her friendly and caring personality can not be missed at GAC and I really thnk that it deserves recognition!

She puts her all into every second of her job. She finds reward and pride in all the little things from all her little ones. On activity, she puts out what I see as day-ending fires with a couple tight yet compassionate words. She makes me reconsider the love with which it’s possible to interact with campers. When I speak to a young camper I try to channel her, on my best days and on my worst days. The Bear Trap is held up by her pragmatism and joy. So much attention is given to the impact on older campers that the sniper-lever precision with which she cares for camp can sometimes be overlooked. As far as I’m concerned, she never fails to treat campers admirably. I look up to her and everything she’s accomplished.

Sis at Bears’ Adventure with her cabin group, Session 4, 2023.

Every time I see her with her cabin, she is always smiling and her girls are too. She has endless patience and kindness, and she always makes sure to say “Hi” and wave when we pass each other, even though we don’t know each other super well. I am always so impressed by her ability to solve problems and help her girls have fun. They will always remember her as one of their favorite counselors.

She has the most dedicated, inspiring outlook on everything and is constantly impressing everyone around her, while never taking her focus off of her campers. Every chance I’ve gotten to witness her leadership style and limitless positivity I am absolutely blown away. She is so incredibly deserving of this award.

Sis, center, with previous Coach’s Award recipents Bravo (left) and Foxtrot (right).

I have never known a better person. Every year I am amazing by her ability to not only make her campers’ lives better, but everyone on staff as well. She has the patience of a saint and can always be counted on to make anything fun. I can think of no one more deserving than Sis. To know her is to love her. Camp is made better because of her.

A genuinely amazing counselor that cares about her campers like no other. She listens, cares, and is always so positive.

 

She is the most patient and caring counselor/person I have ever met. She does so much each day and asks for so little back. She just sincerely loves what she does and leaving an impact on people however she can. I look to her when I want inspiration to be a better counselor.

I’ve never heard Sis complain once. All of her campers adore and idolize her. She has the most welcoming and kind demeanor and is truly a friend to every camper and counselor at Gold Arrow. No one embodies coaches’ vision quite like Sis. Once again she has the most patient and charismatic soul.

As a Junior Counselor, Sis was the Group Counselor for my cabin. Ever since that summer I was so inspired by her. She gives every day her all and I’ve truly never seen someone fit so well as a bear’s counselor. Now as a counselor she has continued to be a mentor and getting to see her around camp brightens my day. I would not be the counselor I am today without her.

She is such a wonderful leader for the bears counselors. She is always smiling and being positive, and being a great counselor comes naturally. I think she is an awesome example for all the counselors at camp.

Every time I see her around camp she is always full of energy. Her love for both camp and her campers always brightens my day. She always leaves a positive impact on others and kills it with the Bears.

I believe that Sis is one of the best if not the best Bears counselor at camp. She is such a mother figure to the young girls and is always so sympathetic. Whenever you see her around camp she is always so engaging and does everything the girls want her to do, if not more. Her position as a counselor is just so great and she deserves this award for her hard work.

Sis was one of the first Group Counselors I had on activity and immediately she made me feel at home. She verbally reassured me I was good at my job and was always in my corner when I needed help. Over the summer, I have consistently seen her campers feel so loved and have loads of fun, all thanks to her. She has arguably the toughest age group at GAC and makes it look like a walk in the park. I aspire to be like her.

She is the most outstanding counselor. You can tell she loves the job and everything that comes with it. The highs and lows are always there, but she does something to always look at the bright side of things and keep her girls energy and spark up. I really look up to her and believe she deserves this award. I knew she had to win this award ever since I saw her reading after showers to her campers and engaging with her girls after the most mundane and tedious activity. Sis rocks!

I believe Sis is truly talented and gifted as a bears Group Counselor. She constantly greets everyone with a smile and a how are you regardless of how she’s doing. She always puts her campers first and every camper has left a better version of themselves because of her . I am always in awe of her as a GC and her kind heart, willingness to support anyone, and unfailing upbeat attitude. She has proven herself year after year as someone who deserves Coach’s award.

She was so dedicated, caring, loving, and amazing counselor. Being her co the whole summer was a blessing. I learned a lot from her, and the way she loves her work and camp that it makes me feel the same way. She is a person who is easy to love and admire. I’m so happy for having her with me this summer.

I love Sis. She is the sweetest person ever. Absolutely LOVE being in the bear trap with her all summer. She was so welcoming and I am so lucky to get to call you one of my greatest friends. She’s a huge part of why people love GAC. She’s incredible with the bears and you can really see how much they look up to you sister. Forever and ever bear trap sisters!

She has handled the ups and downs of being a baby bears GC with stride and always looks to pick others up whether they are a counselor or camper. She embodies what being a GAC counselor is about, showing love, caring about others, and letting others feel comfortable being themselves. Sis is inspiring and a role model for all.

I would like to nominate Sis. She is possibly one of the kindest people I have ever met. She makes time for every counselor at this camp and is always checking on people. The fact she has the time and energy to do that in addition to being one of the best bear GCs is a testament to her as a person. She is kind and supportive of every camper she has and has endless patience that I could not even begin to replicate. She stands for everything we as counselors should try to achieve and I am so happy and privileged to have gotten to know her this summer.

She is really good with campers. She deals with their problems easily and at the same time, she makes them have a great time. She is always there for them. She does more than she needs to do and keeps the girls entertained. She’s always with a smile on her face and she never looks stressed or exhausted. Their girls love her and she’s an amazing role model.
The work she does with her bears is just incredible. In my two years working at GAC I’ve seen in many instances how kind, motherly, loving encouraging, and warm she is to her campers. She works so so well with them and controls any little crisis just so so well. It’s almost like nothing ruffles her feathers, she does it all so seamlessly and I love seeing that.

I had the privilege to be her co during Session 1 & 2. She is an incredible counselor being one of her ACs was an amazing experience. She cared so much for every child and truly made them have the best experience possible, from hair braiding to the rig a bamboo. Around camp she has a warm presence and always makes others feel welcome. She was my hero during Tweek and took me under her wing. She cares for her cos so well. She is an understanding, compassionate, and caring person and truly embodies what this camp is about.

I personally think Sis should win, not just because of the nice, caring person that she is, but because of what an awesome GC she is. Every session that I’ve had her cabin, they’re super energetic, polite, and enthusiastic. She always seems calm in any situation and to me she unites the bear trap and is always so passionate towards her kids. I think she deserves the recognition.

She is a respected counselor, kind, and very interactive with kids. She is always interested in showing kids the appropriate way and gives her 200% every day. She would be my Coach’s Award Nomination!

Sis is an outstanding counselor. She has unwavering patience and calmness with the campers. Everytime I have interacted with Sis and her cabin, She is caring and loving with her campers. Her hard work and excellent counseling does not go unnoticed. She cares for the bears in every way possible. Campers look up to her. She is an outstanding role model. Her future is incredibly bright as a teaching – keep being yourself Sis!

From seeing how incredible she is with her girls, to spreading positivity with a smile on the dining porch I think Sis is the most deserving of this award. I honestly have not spent that much time with her aside from one activity on Bears Adventure and always running into her and her girls in Shower Tower. I can just tell how much love she has for this place and her kids, and of course how much they love her.

By having the heart of gold and checking in with everyone she comes across, Sis should be nominated for coach’s award this year. She has such a positive attitude being able to handle the youngest bears girls without being frustrated easily even with the littlest of problems. Sis is so fun to talk to and invites any counselor into the conversation even if on the outside of the convo. She takes control of her bears with ease without being too demanding and that helps them respect her even more.

Sis has become a vital part of the energy and brilliance of camp, especially this summer. Sis’s unwavering positive attitude (she’s got ‘tude) and three years of dedication to our Beartrap- all seemingly effortless. Sis makes my GAC happier and brighter through all the simple interactions. Thank you Sis for returning through the years.

Sis is someone at camp who makes others feel and understand that they belong. It is who she is, Sister, she is always there as a beam of kindness to others. I have never had a moment that I didn’t leave feeling good about myself and seen. She shows genuine love and care for campers, counselors, and is someone who makes GAC a better place. I am constantly inspired by her dedication and what she does here. I love Sister!

There is something special about the way Sis interacts with the people around her. She brings never-ending, positive energy to every situation, and the genuine care she has for her campers is inspiring. I consider myself lucky to have worked with her, and even luckier to know her as a friend.

I have been the luckiest person to be able to be her co-counselor for two years now and she still amazes me with new things of how to make the kids have the best summer. She is not only great with kids but also with all the counselors, she is supportive and I can’t wait to see all the things she does next. Thank you Sis for being the person that helped me enjoy my second camp experience, your love from camp is contagious.

Sis is an incredible counselor. She is so incredibly patient, kind, and competent with both her campers and everyone at camp. She smiles at anyone she sees and is always there if you need anything. She is the embodiment of everything camp is. I think she would be the perfect recipient.

She has always been a great leader among GCs and really welcomed me into Tweek when I didn’t know anyone. Always has the best smile on her face and does an amazing job with her cabin always.

I nominate Sis for being an exceptionally positive, hardworking, nurturing counselor for her campers at all times. She of course struggles at times, but always has a positive attitude. She makes camp fun and has a smile on her face always. She is a leader and role model for so many people here.

We are so thankful for Sis and her many years at GAC and are thrilled that she was this year’s Coach’s Award recipient! Congratulations, Sis!

Ask Questions

At camp, we spend a lot of time getting to know each other around the campfire, at meals, and while walking around camp. Many campers who were strangers to each other when they arrived at camp report feeling even closer to the cabin mates they’ve only known for a few weeks than they feel to school friends they’ve known for years. Why is that? One of the reasons is that they’ve had a lot of time to talk with each other. All those conversations help campers build strong friendships.

One friendship skill we practice at camp is learning to ask questions, to listen well using active listening skills, and to ask follow up questions rather than interjecting our stories and ideas right away. Questions help keep a conversation flowing and help us get to know others better. Here’s Sunshine talking about why this is an important social skill our kids need to practice:

 

Download our camp posters to use at home!

What do people most like to talk about?

You may think the answer is something very specific – like sports or a favorite video game or TV show. It’s likely that when I asked that question you thought about what you most like to talk about. It’s true that people really enjoy talking about things they’re interested in. And what they’re most interested in are hobbies and things they enjoy most. People like to talk about themselves, so the best questions to ask to get to know someone better are questions that give them the opportunity to share their interests and stories.

When you ask good questions, it not only helps you get to know your friend better, but it also makes them like you more and want to spend more time with you.

Kids (and adults) who master question-asking, listening, and follow-up are well-liked because they give people the opportunity to share about themselves.

Since asking good questions is the entry point for building friendships wherever you are and whatever your age, it’s an excellent friendship skill to practice and improve.

How to Ask Good Questions

When you’re going into a new situation where you’ll be talking with people you’ve just met or if you’re wanting to build closer friendships with kids you already know, take a few minutes to brainstorm a few good questions you might ask that are appropriate to the setting.

If you’re at school and it’s recess or lunch, you might ask about their interests, favorite foods (perhaps spurred by something you see them snacking on), their family, or how they spend their time after school.

If you get nervous talking with people you don’t know, practice asking questions with your parent, older sibling, or another trusted adult before you go into the new setting. Get their feedback about which questions they enjoyed most.

Campers last summer brainstormed a lot of fun questions to ask friends. You can check out the list here if you want some question ideas!

Question Asking Tips

Once you’ve figured out a few good questions to ask, here are a few important tips:

After you’ve asked the question, listen carefully to the answer without interrupting. If you’re excited or agree with the person, nodding your head and smiling let’s them know you’re “with them” and interested.

Sometimes, their answer gives you the opportunity to ask follow up questions.

For example, you might have first asked,
“Do you like to play any sports?”

And they answer, “No, but I really enjoy music.”

You could ask, “Do you play an instrument or sing?”

And so on.

By listening to their response to your original question, you’ll have a path for figuring out more questions to ask.

If you’re chatting again another day, you can circle back and ask how their piano practice is going or what song they’re learning to play.

Showing your friend that you care about what they care about is a great way to build your friendship, so asking good questions and listening well not only helps you get to know your friend better but will also help you know what to ask them more about later.

Is there someone you’d like to get to know better? Think about a good question you can ask to get to know them better and ask the question next time you’re with them!

Below are 50 questions that our 2019 campers brainstormed. Click here for a printable version!

If you’d like to use the questions at home, you can download them here.

Download Sunshine’s “Questions for Connection,” one of many helpful resources from her book HAPPY CAMPERS: 9 Summer Camp Secrets for Raising Kids Who Become Thriving Adults.

36 Questions to Get Closer to Someone You Love

Teaching Campers the Friendship Skill of Asking Questions

Research Finds Children Learn Social Skills At Camp

Why Kids Make Their Closest Friends at Camp

10 Friendship Skills Every Kid Needs

Talking with Kids about Friendship

10 Social Skills Kids Learn at Camp

Connection Through Questions

 

Apologizing Well

Because all of us make mistakes in our relationships, an important friendship skill is learning how to apologize sincerely and effectively. Apologizing well when we hurt a friend with our words or actions is a skill we’re working on growing this summer at GAC.

In just about every conflict, the disagreement or issue is never ALL one person’s fault. Usually both people did or said something that hurt the other person. With campers, we brainstorm examples of conflicts they get into with friends – often minor things like disputes over card games or using an item that belongs to someone else without asking. Sometimes, we unintentionally hurt a friend.

Apologizing well includes owning up to mistakes and apologizing for words or actions that hurt another person. A sincere and thoughtful apology is the most effective way to resolve conflicts with friends & family members.

Conflicts are a normal part of all relationships, so we are normalizing for campers that all of us – at times – need to apologize to our friends.  These are the simple steps to making a meaningful apology when we’ve done or said something we regret or that has hurt our friend.

6 Steps to a Good Apology

  1. Use the words, “I’m sorry.”

  2. Acknowledge exactly how you messed up.

    “I used unkind words that hurt your feelings.”

  3. Tell how you were feeling and why you think you did the thing.

    “I was feeling jealous of how well you did at wake boarding, so I made an unkind comment.”

  4. Tell the person how you’ll fix the situation.

    “I’d like to share some things that I really admire about you so that you understand how much I like you. And I’m going to take a breath before I make impulsive comments.”

  5. Promise to behave better next time.

    “I’m going to do my best to not blurt out unkind things. If I mess up, I want you to tell me.”

  6. Ask for forgiveness.

    “Will you forgive me for messing up your card game?”

    Download the PDF to print for yourself.

Resources/Related

5 Steps to Help Kids Resolve Conflicts

 

 

Today’s Friendship Skill: Introduce Yourself!

Monday evening at Camper Orientation, we reviewed the important friendship skill (especially when you’re at a new place!) of introducing yourself to others. Campers practiced introducing themselves to a camper in another cabin group (since they already met everyone in their own cabin group yesterday).

We’re already making friends here at GAC!

7 Simple Steps to Teach Kids to Introduce Themselves

How to Respond to a Homesick Letter from Your Camper

The Sad Letter

You’re anticipating with much excitement your camper’s first letter from camp. It finally arrives, and this is what it says…

“I want to come home!”

“It’s awful here.”

“I hate everything.”

“This is worse than prison.”

From: https://thoughtcatalog.com/melanie-berliet/2013/08/10-desperate-letters-i-wrote-from-sleepaway-camp-and-the-separation-anxiety-i-still-cant-shake/

Your Options

Option #1:  Hop in your car and drive to rescue your child immediately.

Option #2:  Take a deep breath and think about possible next steps. 

As a veteran camp director with a lot of experience helping campers (and parents) work through the difficult transition that often accompanies being away from home, especially the first time, I would highly recommend you choose option 2. It will be better for both you and your child.

Getting a sad letter from your child is difficult, but, as experienced camp parents will tell you, you should expect to receive at least one sad letter during your camper’s time at camp. Letters are usually written during quiet times when campers are feeling more reflective. Often, even when they’ve written a super sad letter, the camper is actually adjusting well to camp and is letting you know the emotions they felt during a particularly down time (like rest hour or bedtime).

Next Steps

If you feel uneasy after hearing from your camper, here are a few steps you can take (after your deep breaths, of course):

Positive Messages for a Homesick Camper

Whether you’re communicating with your camper via postcards, letters, email, or phone, here are some ideas for how you can respond to their sad, homesick pleas from camp.

Validate Feelings

Your child might be genuinely feeling severe discomfort from being away from home. Acknowledge that by saying, “I know you feel miserable right now and I’m sorry this is so hard for you.” However, if they ask to be picked up early or talk to you on the phone, remind them that you’re going to stick with letter-writing only and that you’re not coming to get them early!

Provide Encouragement

Reassure them that you have confidence in their ability to face this challenge and have a great camp experience. Say, “Even though you don’t feel like you can do this, I know you can.” Let them know how proud you are of their independence and how excited you are to hear of their accomplishments when they finish camp.

Redirect

Redirect the conversation to something positive. Comment on a recent picture you saw of them online: I saw a picture of you jumping off your paddle board! It looked like so much fun! You can also help your child focus on the positive by reminding them of some of the positive things of camp that they don’t get to experience at home: “I can’t believe you get to have a campfire with marshmallows every night. Lucky duck!” Sometimes kids are concerned that they’re missing out on things happening at home or get worried about you missing them too much. Update them on some of the boring, busywork happening at home to assure them that camp is where they’re supposed to be. Asking questions about an activity they were particularly excited about or about their cabin mates and counselors can also be fun.

Remember the WHY of camp

As you deal with hearing about your child’s discomfort, it’s important to remind yourself and your camper why you chose the camp experience in the first place! Sometimes homesickness is part of the growth process, but we can instill confidence in our campers by encouraging them through uncomfortable and challenging situations rather than completely removing them from all sources of discomfort.

For many kids, camp is their first step toward independence. Leaving the familiarity of home for the first time, most kids experience some degree of discomfort or unease as they adjust to new people, activities, challenges, and experiences. These feelings of discomfort are completely normal, and it is important to discuss the normalcy of homesickness and feeling uncomfortable in new environments before your child leaves for camp.

In Homesick and Happy, Michael Thompson says that “Homesickness is not a psychiatric illness.  It is not a disorder. It is the natural, inevitable consequence of leaving home.  Every child is going to feel it, more or less, sooner or later. Every adult has had to face it and overcome it at some point in life … If you cannot master it, you cannot leave home.”

Real growth only comes when we’re stretched beyond our comfort zones, and that is why so many campers grow more confident during their time at camp: their comfort zone is stretched and they succeed in meeting the new challenges. Some kids end up adjusting and feeling comfortable quickly while others have a harder time adjusting. Either way, there are several ways you can both prepare and support your camper before and during their time at camp.

The biggest struggle for parents often is having to hear about the discomfort of their children as they navigate homesickness, but experienced camp leaders are well-equipped to encourage and come alongside both you and your child to make camp the most positive experience possible!

Article originally published at Sunshine Parenting.

Audrey “Sunshine” Monke, MA, has been the owner of Gold Arrow Camp since 1989 and currently serves as the Chief Visionary Officer. In addition to her vision-casting and mentoring at GAC, Sunshine is an author (Happy Campers: 9 Summer Camp Secrets for Raising Kids Who Become Thriving Adults), podcast host, speaker and coach on the topics of parenting, social skills, and happiness. Find out more at her website, Sunshine Parenting.

Sunshine & Michael Thompson, Ph.D. on the GAC POGcast

Homesickness

Homesick and Happy Book Discussion Guide

“Kidsickness: Help for First-Time Camp Parents”

Resources

10 Desperate Letters I Wrote From Sleepaway Camp

P.S. I Hate it Here (Book of letters from camp)

P.S. I Still Hate it Here

Homesick & Happy: How Time Away from Parents Can Help a Child Grow (book) by Michael Thompson, Ph.D.

Summer Camp Handbook (online edition), by Dr. Christopher Thurber

American Camp Association

The Blessing of the Least Favorite Activity

Wendy Mogel’s best selling book, The Blessing of a Skinned Knee, resonated with me.

I can relate much of her message to camp and to my own family. I heard Dr. Mogel speak at a camp conference several years ago, and she continues to be active in the camp community. Many of our camp parents have heard her speak at school parenting events or have read her book.   If you haven’t had a chance to read The Blessing of a Skinned Knee, I highly recommend it.   In addition to sharing about the importance of letting our kids take healthy risks, and not always rescuing them from failure, Mogel gives many other valuable insights.  She has recognized the value of camp experiences in the development of emotionally healthy kids, as you can read in the article “Camp Blessings” on her website.

A question I often get asked, especially by kids who haven’t yet been to camp, is “What if I don’t want to do an activity?”  Sometimes it starts with a statement, “I don’t like horses.  Do I have to do that activity?”

My short answer is, “You won’t be forced to do any activities, but you will still go with your group, and you will be encouraged to try.”

I think there are three main reasons kids don’t want to do a particular activity, and they are the same reasons why adults often choose to forgo some recreational options:

Negative Experience in the Past

A previous negative experience with the activity, usually not at camp and not with experienced instructors.  Falling off a horse, being dragged behind a ski boat and not getting up, or getting lost on a hike are all examples of negative experiences that make a person naturally inclined not to want to try again.

Fear

Fear of being humiliated.   Fear of failure.  Fear of heights.  Fear of deep lake water.  Fear of rocks.  Fear of going to the bathroom in the woods.  Fear of getting hurt.  The list goes on and on.

Not in Their Comfort Zone

Finally, another reason kids don’t want to try an activity is because, based on their perception of themselves or their past successes/failures, they think they won’t like it.  It’s not in their normal repertoire of things they like and/or are good at.

I’m sure there are other reasons for kids to not want to do an activity, but these are three that readily come to mind from what campers have told me over the years.  Interestingly, the reasons kids don’t want to do an activity are the very reason trying the activity may be the best thing that happens at camp for that camper.

If a child doesn’t want to do an activity because of a previous negative activity,  trying it at camp could lead to either a changed mind (and a new activity they like), or, at the very least, a not-as-negative experience to remember.

If a camper doesn’t want to do an activity because of fear, then trying the activity could be the most life-changing event that occurs for that camper during their camp stay.   Overcoming fears and challenging oneself to attempt something that seems impossible can lead to great feelings of accomplishment and improved confidence.  With the support and encouragement from cabin mates and counselors, campers feel on top of the world after successfully trying something they feared.  For the camper with a fear of heights, climbing half-way up the ladder on the high ropes course will be celebrated as a huge accomplishment, and one that can make him/her proud.    This is an example of something hard that leads to something good, a theme that Dr. Mogel stresses.  The camp environment offers a supportive place for kids to learn how to overcome fears and accomplish things they didn’t think were possible.

If a camper doesn’t want to do an activity because they don’t think they’ll like it based on their preferences or perception of themselves, trying something different offers an opportunity for expanded confidence.  A camper who sees himself as non-athletic and more adept at target sports may shy away from the more physical activities, yet trying and accomplishing them could change his perception of himself in a positive way.  A camper who likes shopping and clothes and sees herself as not an “outdoorsy” kind of person may dread going on a backpacking trip.  Yet, the experience of cooking and sleeping outdoors could lead to an expanded view of herself and an appreciation for the many different facets of a personality.    Sometimes, the activity a camper thought would be their least favorite becomes a favorite!

So, when a camper tells us all the reasons why they “don’t want to” or “can’t” do an activity this summer, we will continue to encourage them to “give it a try,”  because we know the hidden blessings of the least favorite activity.

Article originally published at Sunshine Parenting.

Audrey “Sunshine” Monke, MA, has been the owner of Gold Arrow Camp since 1989 and currently serves as the Chief Visionary Officer. In addition to her vision-casting and mentoring at GAC, Sunshine is an author (Happy Campers: 9 Summer Camp Secrets for Raising Kids Who Become Thriving Adults), podcast host, speaker and coach on the topics of parenting, social skills, and happiness. Find out more at her website, Sunshine Parenting.

Introduce Yourself Using WESTI

Introducing yourself (Can you approach people on your own and meet them?) and introducing others (Can you help people meet one another?) are very basic and useful social skills. It’s a friendship skill we teach campers and encourage them to practice all year!

We use the acronym WESTI to remind us of some simple steps to introducing ourselves.

STEP 1: WARM SMILE

STEP 2: EYE CONTACT

Smile at the person you want to meet and make eye contact.

STEP 3: SHAKE THEIR HAND, GIVE A FIST BUMP OR WAVE

STEP 4: TELL THEM WHO YOU ARE AND HOW YOU’RE FEELING

“Hi, I’m Sunshine. I’m so excited you’re here!”

Practicing introducing ourselves.

STEP 5: INTRODUCE THEM TO SOMEONE ELSE

“Have you met Joe?”
“Sam, this is Joe. He goes to my school.”

While these steps may sound simple to adults, sometimes we forget to actually explain the process of introducing ourselves and others to our kids. Like most skills, with a bit of gentle coaching, our kids can improve tremendously in these areas!

This summer, we reviewed these steps with staff and campers.

When I ask campers how they think their time at camp has changed or influenced them, campers often say that they’ve learned better skills at meeting new people and making new friends.  Campers say that because of camp they are much more confident about meeting new people and making new friends. Some mention that they are more confident about starting at a new school or joining a new team or club because they know how to meet people and have learned to be more open and approach others with a smile and simple introduction.

Introducing themselves and introducing others is an important and useful social skill that we can easily coach our kids to master using these simple steps.

10 Friendship Skills Every Kid Needs

Ep. 2: 10 Friendship Skills Every Kid Needs

Making Friends: 3 Communication Skills Your Child Needs

Making Friends: Developing Emotional Intelligence

Making Friends: Managing Difficult Emotions

5 Steps to Help Kids Resolve Conflicts

http://www.parentingscience.com/kids-make-friends.html

http://micheleborba.com/teaching-kids-friendship-making-skills/

http://www.sheknows.com/parenting/articles/816710/Teaching-kids-how-to-make-friends-at-school