Episode 88: Razz Talks about Camp

Sunshine talks with experienced Gold Arrow Camp camper and counselor, Lucy ‘Razz” Mahlmeister, in this episode of the podcast. Razz talks about her time at GAC, which started in 2010 when she was an eight-year-old first time camper. Razz spent eight years as a camper, one year as a Junior Counselor, and has now been on staff for five years, primarily as a watersports activity counselor, teaching campers kneeboarding, wakeboarding, waterskiing, and wakesurfing.

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Episode 87: Experienced Campers Talk about Camp

For parents and campers who are new to Gold Arrow Camp, you won’t want to miss this episode! A group of Junior Counselors (16 & 17 year old experienced campers) join Sunshine for a chat about their experiences and growth over their summers at camp. This was recorded in 2018 but their insights are still as relevant today!

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Episode 86: Thrivers with Dr. Michele Borba

This episode was originally published on Sunshine Parenting and is geared towards parents, staff, and older campers. There are mentions of youth mental health issues, including suicide, so parents please listen before deciding whether to share with your younger kids.

Join Sunshine for her conversation with Dr. Michele Borba about her phenomenal, must-read book THRIVERS: The Surprising Reasons Why Some Kids Struggle and Others Shine – 7 Teachable skills of heart, mind, & will that set happy, healthy, high-performing kids apart.

At GAC, our vision is Creating a happier world, one camper at a time. Our mission – what we specifically focus on – is building positive habits and character traits for a thriving life. We follow the research about what kids need to thrive now and into adulthood. The book Thrivers is a great resource for all of our staff and parents.

About Dr. Michele Borba

Dr. Michele Borba is an educational psychologist, best-selling author, and TODAY show contributor who has spoken to over one million participants on five continents and to countless media about child development issues.

She blends 40 years of teaching and consulting experience with latest science to offer sound, realistic advice to parents teachers and child advocates about helping children thrive.

Sunshine’s Amazon Review

Dr. Michele Borba’s latest book – THRIVERS: The Surprising Reasons Why Some Kids Struggle and Other Shine – is perhaps her most important book yet – and the timing couldn’t be better. She’s researched seven specific character traits that parents and educators can focus on teaching kids to help them be resilient “thrivers” in a time when many children and adolescents are NOT thriving. The book is divided into three parts (Nurturing Heart, Developing Mind, and Cultivating Will) and each section has two or three specific character traits outlined in detail. Not only does Dr. Borba shares stories and research backing the importance of teaching kids the trait, but she also provides specific age-by-age ideas about how to instill each trait. This book needs to be on every parent and educator’s bookshelf and can be read one chapter at a time (if you want to focus on one trait) or all at once. With youth mental health and suicide rates rising, we all need to stop and reflect on what’s most important to teach our kids. And it’s not math or grammar or athletic skills. Instead, it’s the specific character traits that will help kids excel in all areas. Pick up Thrivers and learn how to teach kids self-confidence, empathy, self-control, integrity, curiosity, perseverance, and optimism — all traits that are teachable and lead to a thriving life.

Dr. Michele Borba’s Website

7 Essential Character Traits PDF

Thrivers book info & video series

[ENCORE] Ep. 138: Unselfie with Dr. Michele Borba

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Episode 85: Unplug to Connect

Unplug to Connect

One of our core values at GAC is Unplugging to Connect. Why are we so passionate about the importance of getting off our screens and spending more time in face-to-face interactions? Because it’s good for all of our well-being to improve the quality of our relationships and connection to our families, friends, and communities. We want our campers and staff to experience the positive difference it makes being in a screen-free environment, so that they are compelled to change their own screen habits. The big dream – the one that serves our vision of creating a happier world, is that we go out from our camp community and help bring positive collective action and change to how we all prioritize face-to-face connection outside of camp. 

There is now a lot of research-backed evidence about the negative impact excessive screen time is having on people across all generations. Excessive screen time is linked to negative impacts on mental and physical health, with children and teens particularly vulnerable. These impacts include increased anxiety and depression, sleep disturbances, obesity, and reduced cognitive function. The effects can also include behavioral problems, difficulty with social skills, and issues with academic performance.

According to research by Jean Twenge (iGen: Why Today’s Super-Connected Kids Are Growing Up Less Rebellious, More Tolerant, Less Happy — and Completely Unprepared for Adulthood):

After 1 h/day of use, more hours of daily screen time were associated with lower psychological well-being, including less curiosity, lower self-control, more distractibility, more difficulty making friends, less emotional stability, being more difficult to care for, and inability to finish tasks. Among 14- to 17-year-olds, high users of screens (7+ h/day vs. low users of 1 h/day) were more than twice as likely to ever have been diagnosed with depression (RR 2.39, 95% CI 1.54, 3.70), ever diagnosed with anxiety (RR 2.26, CI 1.59, 3.22), treated by a mental health professional (RR 2.22, CI 1.62, 3.03) or have taken medication for a psychological or behavioral issue (RR 2.99, CI 1.94, 4.62) in the last 12 months. Moderate use of screens (4 h/day) was also associated with lower psychological well-being.
Associations between screen time and lower psychological well-being among children and adolescents: Evidence from a population-based study, Dr. Jean Twenge

”Play-based childhood has been replaced by a screen-based childhood and the outcomes of this experiment are a nightmare – least flourishing generation in history.”
Jonathan Haidt 

Jonathan Haidt’s The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness (2024) presents a compelling argument about the rise in youth anxiety and mental health issues, particularly in the United States and other Western countries. He shares the research about how a play-based childhood became replaced by a phone-based childhood and how detrimental the change has been for children’s mental, physical, and social health. 

Around 2010–2015, most teens got smartphones and social media became central to their social lives. Platforms like Instagram, TikTok, and Snapchat are designed to be addictive and encourage social comparison, validation seeking, and fear of missing out (FOMO). Rates of anxiety, depression, self-harm, and suicide have skyrocketed among teens—especially girls—since the early 2010s. Haidt links this surge directly to increased screen time, especially social media use.

We all feel the difference in how smart phones seemed to have taken over all of our lives. There’s now an eery quiet in places that used to be boisterous (school buses, school lunch/recess at schools where phones are allowed). Many of us notice the lack of eye contact and social connections in places where we used to have chats with strangers, such as while waiting in line for a coffee or passing someone on the sidewalk.

Specific adverse effects of screen use on well-being include:

Mental: social media makes it harder to focus / learn / work – read a book, solve a difficult problem

Emotional: social media/screen time causing increased depression, anxiety

Physical: screen time linked to less sleep, less physical activity, more obesity

Social: isolation/loneliness, less practice with social skills leading to more relational challenges, in new/awkward situations, people all retreat to their phones, lessening the chance of connection

Spiritual: Reduced ability to meditate/pray when attention fragmented

Overall, the biggest issue with screen use is what we’re NOT doing when we’re spending hours on our phones and other screens. We’re not:

Spending time with friends

Doing outdoor activites

Participating in hobbies we enjoy / make us feel good

The good news is that experimental studies show that reducing screen time leads to increased happiness and focus within weeks. That’s where camp comes in.

Benefits of Being Unplugged

Gold Arrow Camp offers a unique experience – to be in a community and among people who are collectively unplugged. Time unplugged at camp gives campers and staff the unique opportunity to experience how good they feel when they’re not stuck in the addictive cycle of phone-use caused by apps that use manipulative algorithms to keep their attention. 

At camp, we spend time that was once spent on screens on other things that improve well-being, including:

Building Social Connections

More face-to-face time in real-life relationships gives campers the opportunity to form deeper connections (REALationships) with the people they are with. They experience being present with people who are focused and attentive to them, not distracted by phones. Meals, campfires, walking time, and hang-out time are all opportunities for face-to-face connection.

Getting Great Sleep

We prioritize getting good sleep at GAC with our campers getting a minimum of 9 hours of in-bed time (our oldest campers lights out is 10pm and wake up time is around 7am). Not having screens around allows for great sleep.

Discovering New Skills & Hobbies

In addition to learning and doing many fun recreational outdoor activities, campers learn card games, read, journal, play guitar, make friendship bracelets or other crafts, and make some new best friends…The opportunities for growth and discovery are endless when we’re not distracted by screens! Campers experience improved focus and productivity and the ability to be present and get fully engaged with what they are doing in the moment.

More Resources to Explore

Books:

Happy Campers: 9 Summer Camp Secrets for Raising Kids Who Become Thriving Adults, Audrey Monke

iGen: Why Today’s Super-Connected Kids Are Growing Up Less Rebellious, More Tolerant, Less Happy — and Completely Unprepared for Adulthood, Jean Twenge

The Anxious Generation, Jonathan Haidt

TED Talks:

iGen: The Smartphone Generation | Jean Twenge | TEDxLagunaBlancaSchool

Are Smartphones Ruining Childhood? | Jonathan Haidt | TED

Other:

Why We Need to Unplug to Connect with Our Families

Surgeon general warning

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Episode 76: Creating a Happier World with Chelster

We’re continuing our podcast series on Creating a Happier World with Sunshine’s chat with our beloved Director of Camper and Parent Services, Chelsea “Chelster” Rowe. Chelster shares her GAC story and many insights about camp. Chelster has been on the Year-Round team at GAC for almost four decades and has experienced being a camper, staff member, director, camper parent, and staff parent!

Chelster talks about the importance of the GAC community, how much she enjoys getting to know campers and their parents, and how meaningful her career at camp has been. She also talks about some of the benefits of camp, including the increased confidence campers gain from trying new things, being independent from parents, learning to advocate for themselves, talking to adults other than their parents, and making decisions on their own.

Podcast Credits

Music by Henry “Dobro” Johns
Narration (intro & outro) by Henry “Bravo” Pederson
Produced by JRS Production Creative Audio

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January Parent Coffee

Want to bring some of the fun, connection, and character and skills growth of GAC home to your family this year? Grab your coffee or tea, login, and join other GAC parents for our first parent coffee of 2024! We’ll learn about and discuss simple, research-based and experience-backed strategies covered in HAPPY CAMPERS for bringing some camp strategies home to your family.

Get your copy of Happy Campers!
Audible
Kindle/Print

Audrey “Sunshine” Monke, who will be speaking at this coffee, is Gold Arrow Camp’s Chief Visionary Officer, the author of Happy Campers: 9 Summer Camp Secrets for Raising Kids Who Become Thriving Adults, and the host of the Sunshine Parenting Podcast. Audrey regularly speaks to parents and teachers on the topics of friendship skills, connection, and well-being. See some of her past interviews and events here.

National Day of Unplugging

We invite all of our friends and family to join Gold Arrow Camp in participating in the National Day of Unplugging from sundown on March 3 to sundown on March 4. This time of being unplugged is a movement to encourage people to get a “24-hour respite from technology.” If you have experienced a summer at GAC then you know the importance of unplugging and connecting face-to-face, which is why we don’t allow cell phones at camp.

The National Day of Unplugging encourages people to use 24 hours free from technology to connect with “ourselves, our loved ones, and our communities.” Wow. That sounds an awful lot like camp! We love the idea of unplugging (just for a little bit) at home so that we can reforge the kind of connections there that we forge at camp, where we’re totally free from the burden of technology.

You can join us in celebrating by pledging to #unplug on social media, sharing this news story, or even planning an unplugged event with your family! You could have an old-fashioned dinner party, spend that Saturday working on puzzles or playing board games. If you need more ideas, check out the NDU 2023 Ideas List and sign up to become a FREE member!

If you have plans to unplug, please tag us in those on your social media. We’d love to share your plans (and what you did, after the fact, of course) on our social media!

Have Fun: Creating a Positive, Connected Family Culture – Parent Coffee on January 19

Want to bring some of the fun and connection of GAC home to your family this year? 

Creating a close and connected family culture that promotes positive, lifelong relationships is the most important thing we can do for our children. Grab your coffee or tea, login, and join other GAC parents for our first parent coffee of 2022. We’ll learn about and discuss simple, research-based and experience-backed strategies for adding more fun and connection at home.

Audrey “Sunshine” Monke, who will be speaking at this coffee, is Gold Arrow Camp’s Chief Visionary Officer, the author of Happy Campers: 9 Summer Camp Secrets for Raising Kids Who Become Thriving Adults, and the host of the Sunshine Parenting Podcast. Audrey regularly speaks to parents and teachers on the topics of friendship skills, connection, and well-being. See some of her past interviews and events here.

All Gold Arrow Camp parents who register will be entered in our drawing for one of 10 free, signed copies of Happy Campers. Drawing will take place and winners will be notified on January 14, 2022. 

Registrants will be sent a recording after the meeting as well as a PDF with the strategies and links we discuss.

Register here to attend the January 19 Parent Coffee and be entered to win a free copy of Sunshine’s book, Happy Campers!

Happy Campers: 9 Summer Camp Secrets for Raising Kids Who Become Thriving Adults

GAC POG-Cast: Sunshine

Ep. 174: The Magic of Camp (Happy Campers Book Excerpt)

9 Secrets for Raising Kids Who Become Thriving Adults

Connection Comes First: Free Resources & Parent Coffee Chat

At GAC, we believe that connecting with our kids and forming close, positive relationships with them is the most important responsibility of being a parent (or camp counselor!).

Opportunities to learn more about connecting with your kids

Connection Tips & Resources

Our Chief Visionary Officer, Audrey “Sunshine” Monke (host of the Sunshine Parenting Podcast and author of Happy Campers: 9 Summer Camp Secrets for Raising Kids Who Become Thriving Adults) is sharing connection tips with parents who sign up for her email series: Connection Comes First. As soon as you sign up, you’ll immediately get access to a free audio or print download of the first chapter of Sunshine’s book: Camp Secret #1: Connection Comes First.

Sign up for Sunshine’s connection tips (and the free book chapter) here.

Connection Coffee Chat

Join with other GAC community members (staff & parents) to chat about the important topic of connecting with our kids! We’ll share tips and resources AND get the chance to connect with one another.

When: Sep 29, 2021 08:30 AM Pacific Time (US and Canada)

Register for the 9/29/21 parent coffee chat by clicking this link.

After registering, you will receive a confirmation email containing information about joining the meeting.

Grit is Grown Outside the Comfort Zone

Listen to Sunshine Parenting Ep. 85: Grit is Grown Outside the Comfort Zone:

Episode 85 of the Sunshine Parenting Podcast, was recorded live at Pegasus School in Huntington Beach as part of their PEGtalks Parent Education Series. I’m with my frequent guest, Sara Kuljis, the owner and director of Yosemite Sierra Summer Camp and Emerald Cove Day Camp. We talk about my book, Happy Campers and discuss Camp Secret #5, Grit Is Grown Outside the Comfort Zone.

Read more in 5 Ways Camp Grows Grit.

BIG IDEAS

QUOTES

Sara: “This book is just packed full with so many awesome parenting tools drawn from the camp environment.”

Audrey: “I found myself talking to camp parents a lot more about things that were going on with their kids at home, about things that we do at camp that they could try to make their kids feel better and happier at home.”

Audrey: “I also found that a lot of the training we did with our counselors, about just basic positive behavior management techniques, friendship skills, was really applicable to parents.”

Audrey: “We believe in summer camp for kids, but even more so, I believe in the great experience it is for camp counselors. The experiences of having to lead a group, manage kids, learn how to speak and lead positively, learn how to manage conflicts, clean up throw up–these are skills that are really beneficial when you do become a parent at some point later in life.”

Audrey: “Kids tend to be more courageous and try more new things when parents aren’t sitting right there. We are really fortunate to see a ton of growth in this area at camp because we get to have these kids in this environment where they are suddenly feeling like, ‘OK maybe I can try this’.”

Audrey: “We must learn how to help them become resilient human beings, even when they’re near us. We’re seeing a lot of the results of kids who aren’t growing that kind of resilience. It comes out when they’re teenagers or young adults as serious mental health issues because they don’t feel that they have the capacity to bounce back from the normal setbacks and problems of life.”

Sara: “Think of grit as a muscle. You don’t start lifting 400 lbs at the gym; you start small. Little by little, you bump up that weight on the bench press. It’s fun to think of ways that even our little humans can start to grow their grit muscles. When, in time, you’re sending that big human off to college, hopefully, they have grown some good muscle. That freshmen year isn’t so overwhelming because they have practiced folding their clothes and doing their laundry. They have gone to talk to their teacher and can advocate for themselves.  They have had to suffer through a disappointing grade. They can make new friends and say ‘I’m sorry’ to a friend. All those little grit-muscle growth opportunities are essential.”

Audrey: “I first heard the term ‘grit’ in Paul Tough’s How Children Succeed. In their research, the trait that they found that was most predictive of successfully completing college was grit or resilience. It’s a really important trait in all areas of life.”

Audrey: “As a parent, it’s our natural inclination to want to protect (our children) their whole life. If we keep protecting them too long and too much, we end up making them fragile. You have to be blown around and have some hardships to get strong. If you keep your child too protected from any kind of physical, emotional, or social pain for too long they can be blown over by little things.”

Audrey: “Think about what you used to do at different ages. That should really give you the confidence to know that your kids can probably be doing more than what you think they can right now.”

Sara: “When your kids are small you’re a caretaker. But then you transition into being their coach. And ultimately, you transition into being their consultant.”

Audrey: “It’s very tempting when something goes wrong to want to fight our kids’ battles. Instead, turn it around so they’re not a victim. Explain that it’s not all about them but it’s the other person’s bad behavior. Tell your kids, ‘I know you can handle this’ because–as we all know–when mom or dad does step in or talks to the teacher, it doesn’t usually work out very well.”

Audrey: “It’s never as clear as it looks. We all have our moments and all of our kids have the capacity when their feelings are hurt, or when they feel left out, to say something or do something that’s not kind.”

Audrey: “We can do so much for our kids, and build their social resilience and grit, by letting them know that it is normal to have people do rude things. It happens every day in life. If your kids are really young, you can empower them and give them the confidence that they have strategies to deal with it. That’s the kind of resilience you want your kids to have.”

Sara: “We often ask, ‘What do you think is the other side of the story?’ Just building that bit of empathy for the other side is so helpful. When we don’t crumble when our kids go through hard things and when we don’t panic and rush to rescue them, it teaches our kids that they can handle it too. They see us modeling our confidence and peace, trust in each other and in good decisions. Borrowing courage until you have your own is a pretty groovy tool to have. Sometimes as parents we have to reach out to friends and peers and borrow courage, as well. We are all human and need to help each other raise our kids.”

Audrey: “Remember stories from childhood and share them with your kids, especially the struggles you experienced. They need to see us as authentic, real people who had these same kinds of things happen to us because it’s really reassuring to them.”

Audrey: “You grow grit from trying new things. There’s this model to teaching: first you do it for them, then, second, you do it with them. Then, you’re watching them and helping them do it, and then, finally, they’re doing it independently. You can think about that with anything from driving, to social stuff, to new sports that you’re teaching, riding a bike. That is how you help them to learn new things with your support.”

Audrey: “At camp we have to make everything fun, even putting sunscreen on. We’ve mastered the art of making mundane things fun. When you make mundane things fun at home, that just creates a really fun culture.”

Audrey: “Setting goals is a great grit-building idea. It’s something you can do as a family. You can all set a goal of something you want to try. Model for your child that you’re setting a goal and working towards it. My kids have learned much more from watching me do things than from me telling them to do something.”

Audrey: “I like the idea of a courage box where each person tries something they’re afraid of, or something new–it can be anything–but each person sets a goal to overcome that fear, of pushing their comfort zone. The idea is celebrating courage with your kids.”

Sara: “Take the heat out of having to be an expert the first time you try something. We don’t try a new sport to be on varsity or to be the best. Sometimes we try it because it’s fun, or we’re curious or just to try something new. We need to take away the pressure to excel that is so prevalent in our culture. It keeps kids from trying things. It is not about being excellent; It’s about going out and trying.”

Audrey: “Leadership, parenting, it’s all the same.”