Episode 80: The Magic of Camp (Happy Campers Book Excerpt)

This week on the podcast we’re featuring a short excerpt from the introduction to Audrey “Sunshine” Monke’s book, Happy Campers: 9 Summer Camp Secrets for Raising Kids Who Become Thriving Adults. 

Learn about the research-based, intentional practices behind the “magic” at Gold Arrow Camp in this episode, The Magic of Summer Camp.

About Happy Campers

Why are kids more optimistic, resilient, independent, and competent
after just a few weeks at summer camp?

Why do they feel less depressed, anxious, and disconnected at camp than they do anywhere else?

Why are so many campers heartbroken when it’s time to go home?

Veteran summer camp director Audrey “Sunshine” Monke, psychologist and parenting expert, shares what she’s learned from three decades of creating a summer camp that kids call their “happy place” and “second home,” a culture where research has proven kids become happier while gaining important social and emotional skills in just two weeks.

Based on thousands of interactions with campers, camp counselors, and parents, and on academic research in positive psychology, Happy Campers introduces a framework of intentional strategies to help parents create the same kind of transformational culture that kids experience at camp. Instead of raising a generation of kids who are overwhelmed, anxious, depressed, and unable to function as independent and responsible adults, parents can create an environment at home that promotes the growth of important character traits and social skills that kids need in order to have meaningful and successful lives. Complete with specific ideas to implement these summer camp secrets at home, Happy Campers is a one-of-a-kind resource for parents wanting to raise happy, socially intelligent, successful kids.

Episode 79: Creating a Happier World – The GAC Philosophy

Join Sunshine, Chelster, Gem & Delta for a chat about Gold Arrow Camp’s Vision, Mission, Goals. Learn about the positive habits and character traits we want our campers and staff to take with them far beyond their time at camp. Learn WHY Gold Arrow Camp exists and about the vision we have of creating a happier world, one camper at a time.

Watch a video about Gold Arrow Camp here.
Learn more about the Gold Arrow Camp philosophy here.
Hear what campers say about GAC here.

Podcast Credits

Music by Henry “Dobro” Johns
Narration (intro & outro) by Henry “Bravo” Pederson
Produced by JRS Production Creative Audio

Episode 78: Creating a Happier World with Speed

This week on the Gold Arrow Camp Podcast, Sunshine chats with Armando “Speed” Negrete about the lasting positive impact of his experience as a GAC staff member in the late 1990s and early 2000s. The communication and leadership skills he learned at GAC are professional skills Armando uses today as a Lead Public Safety Dispatcher (9-1-1), a track and cross country running coach, and a sports photographer. Armando also shares about how the skills he learned and practiced as a Group Counselor are ones he still uses and benefits from as a parent.

“I remember how incredibly in awe I was of the camp ground,
of all the different activities that Gold Arrow Camp offers.
I was just completely awestruck.”
Armando “Speed” Negrete

Article about Armando’s return to Fresno State to get his Bachelor’s Degree

Podcast Credits

Music by Henry “Dobro” Johns
Narration (intro & outro) by Henry “Bravo” Pederson
Produced by JRS Production Creative Audio

Episode 77: Creating a Happier World with Bagel

This week on the Gold Arrow Camp Podcast, Sunshine chats with fourteen-year veteran camper and staff member, Ben “Bagel” Bronstein about the community and positive culture that keep pulling him back for another summer at good ol’ GAC!

Bagel shares about what he enjoyed about being a camper and what he still enjoys today as a staff member.

“Especially when I came back on my own, I really realized the community I could build on my own at camp and how special it was a place to do that.”

-Bagel

Podcast Credits

Music by Henry “Dobro” Johns
Narration (intro & outro) by Henry “Bravo” Pederson
Produced by JRS Production Creative Audio

Episode 76: Creating a Happier World with Chelster

We’re continuing our podcast series on Creating a Happier World with Sunshine’s chat with our beloved Director of Camper and Parent Services, Chelsea “Chelster” Rowe. Chelster shares her GAC story and many insights about camp. Chelster has been on the Year-Round team at GAC for almost four decades and has experienced being a camper, staff member, director, camper parent, and staff parent!

Chelster talks about the importance of the GAC community, how much she enjoys getting to know campers and their parents, and how meaningful her career at camp has been. She also talks about some of the benefits of camp, including the increased confidence campers gain from trying new things, being independent from parents, learning to advocate for themselves, talking to adults other than their parents, and making decisions on their own.

Podcast Credits

Music by Henry “Dobro” Johns
Narration (intro & outro) by Henry “Bravo” Pederson
Produced by JRS Production Creative Audio

Episode 75: Creating a Happier World with Airborne

Welcome to the Gold Arrow Camp Podcast’s 2025 Season! We’re kicking off the season with a series on “Creating a Happier World,” because our vision at GAC is to create a happier world, one camper at a time.

In this episode, Audrey “Sunshine” Monke chats with Aaron “Airborne” Johnson about many topics related to creating and being part of positive communities for kids. Airborne’s GAC story started back in 1999, when he joined our staff as a Group Counselor. This summer (2025), he’ll be at our Shaver Island outpost camp during Session #2, serving as our Shaver Host. In the role of Shaver Host, Airborne provides leadership and support for our campers and staff while they’re on Shaver Island, which is about 20 minutes from our “Main Camp” location on Huntington Lake. When he’s not at GAC, Airborne serves as principal of Ironwood Elementary School in Tucson, Arizona.

Resources Discussed

Sunshine & Chelster’s Parent Orientation that includes information about parent expectations, reviewing camper standards of behavior, camper medications, communication during your camper’s stay at GAC, and more!

5 Steps to Help Kids Resolve Conflicts, Sunshine Parenting:
Conflict Resolution Wheel
How Big is My Problem?

Kelso’s Choices

“Effortful Fun” Laura Vanderkam

Podcast Credits

Music by Henry “Dobro” Johns
Narration (intro & outro) by Henry “Bravo” Pederson
Produced by JRS Production Creative Audio

Messages For An Anxious Camper

A camper smiles happily at summer camp while looking through a cargo net

Read more of Sunshine’s camp-related posts at her website, Sunshine Parenting.

“Children want to be independent, and they realize that they cannot be truly independent until they beat homesickness, even when they have a painful case of it.”
– Michael Thompson, PhD., Homesick and Happy

Recently I spoke with a mom whose 11-year-old son is coming to camp in a few days.  He’s nervous.  He had a negative experience at a one-week science camp.  He doesn’t think he can “make it for two weeks” and is worried he’ll be too homesick to make it at camp.   I chatted with the mom and gave her some key messages to communicate to her son.  She asked for them in bullet points in an email, and I thought there are probably others who might benefit from this same list, so I’m sharing this with anyone who has a child suffering from pre-camp anxiety.

Before I share my list, let me say that if you are not a camp proponent and don’t plan on sending your child to camp, you should probably not read any further.  I am a huge supporter of camp and recently had a JC (Junior Counselor) tell me that “Camp made her who she is today.”  So, I think that camp is a great thing for building kids’ independence and confidence.  I have also seen many kids work through some pretty painful emotions at camp, so I know that camp is not easy for all kids.

A summer camp camper gives two thumbs up on a backpacking tripWe have 7-year-olds at our camp who do great during our two-week sessions.   They are the ones who’ve begged their parents to let them come to camp and generally have older siblings who’ve attended camp. I also talk to a lot of parents with older kids who “aren’t sure if they’re ready for camp.” One thing I’ve learned after close to three decades at camp is that the same kids who are anxious and hesitant about going to camp when they’re nine or ten will still be anxious when they’re 13.  And they may not be interested in going away to college when they’re 18, either.

So, as a parent, you need to decide how to approach your child’s separation anxiety, as well as your own.  You can avoid it and not send them to camp and hope that they develop independence in other ways, which is definitely possible.  Or, you can bite the bullet, give them these positive messages, and send them off to camp with a smile, knowing that it may be hard for them, but they will grow from the experience.

Smiling campers pose at a summer camp in front of a covered wagon

In Michael Thompson, PhD.’s book Homesick and Happy, he says “It is the very challenge of camp that makes it such a life-changing experience for so many children.”  I know there are many parents and children who just can’t stomach the idea of going through some painful time apart.  Again, you need not read further if you are not sending your reluctant child to camp.

This post is for those of you who have decided that your child is going to camp, and especially for those of you who had a previously excited camper who is now having last-minute camp anxiety.   Here are some messages you can give prior to dropping your camper at the bus or at camp.  Pick and choose, and of course, use your own words, but acknowledge your child’s feelings and empathize with them while holding firm in your confidence in their ability to succeed and your belief that camp will be good for them.

Two campers in life jackets smile on a ski boat at an American summer camp

Without further ado, here are some messages to give to your anxious camper:

A group of backpackers looks at a mountain lake in the high sierra

In Homesick and Happy, Thompson says, “Homesickness is not a psychiatric illness.  It is not a disorder.  It is the natural, inevitable consequence of leaving home.  Every child is going to feel it, more or less, sooner or later.  Every adult has had to face it and overcome it at some point in life … If you cannot master it, you cannot leave home.”

Campers smile for the camera at summer camp in California

I would like to note that you do not need to use all of these messages but instead choose the ones you think will resonate most with your child.  What’s most important is that you express confidence in your child and in the camp experience.    These same messages would be great as responses to a sad letter you receive from your camper.

I always tell the kids that the fun and happy feelings at camp usually far outweigh any sad feelings.  Many kids tell me they “don’t feel homesick at all,” but there are some who struggle, especially during their first summer.  Those kids seem to grow the most and feel the most pride in their accomplishment of staying at camp.   If you are feeling worried about how your child will do at camp, know that you are giving your child a precious gift by allowing them this special time where they get to grow their wings.

 

 

Five Reasons Every Teen Should Go To Summer Camp

By Audrey “Sunshine” Monke. Originally published at Sunshine Parenting

#1  Improve Interpersonal Skills & Form Close Friendships

 

“In a … study of 515 senior executives, emotional intelligence was a better predictor of success than either relevant previous experience or high IQ.” -Forbes, “Look for Employees with High EQ over IQ”

In a world where anyone can look up a fact or equation and where machines are replacing even complex workplace tasks, employers need employees who can interact effectively with other people. This is one of the most important skills teens learn at camp. In the unplugged, non-competitive camp culture, teens build up their “emotional intelligence” (EQ), their face-to-face communication and relationship skills. 21st-century employers need people who can communicate, collaborate, and cooperate with others, and teens who come to camp get to practice those skills every day.

If you are debating whether your teen can miss a few weeks of SAT prep or a summer academic program, know that the 1600 SAT score will never outweigh the important communication and relationship skills he or she will develop at camp. Whether on a backpacking trip, cheering each other through a ropes course, or chatting around the campfire, the interpersonal skills teens build are the same ones they’ll need to be successful adults in families, communities, and companies.

 

#2  Take Safe Risks and Challenges

 

Teens thrive on risk. Thanks to recent findings (described in Age of Opportunity and Brainstorm) about the unique attributes of the teen brain, we now understand the reason for the “mortality bump” for 17-year-old boys. They do stupid, daring things not because they aren’t aware of the dangers, but because—to them—the reward of leaping from a rocky cliff or speeding along a curvy mountain road seems to outweigh the risk.

A teen at camp has the opportunity to take many safe, controlled risks. Climbing to new heights on a rock wall or ropes course, jumping the wake of a boat on a wake board, or reaching the peak of a 10,000-foot summit are all healthy risks teens take at camp. Plus, being in a controlled camp environment frees teens from exposure to health risks like alcohol and drug use.

 

#3  Experience Character Growth and Develop Life Skills

 

“A profound gap exists between the knowledge and skills most students learn in school and the knowledge and skills they need for success in their communities and workplaces.” –Partnership for 21st Century Skills

Schools aren’t doing a very good job teaching kids grit, perseverance, and leadership. But that’s not their job. Rather, schools are VERY busy teaching the core curriculum and assessing how well our kids know it. No school has time to see how “gritty” a kid is, but at camp, the “grit-meter” is always running, and it’s personal character—not a report card or an athletic achievement—that rises to the top.

Teens also develop other important life skills at camp, including independence, responsibility, and decision-making.  Teens grow considerably in an environment away from their parents where they are forced to live on their own and find their own resources.

 

#4  Meet Positive Role Models

 

Watch or listen to a popular music video, reality TV show, or sports event, and you’ll be hard-pressed to find positive young adults teens can emulate. But walk into any well-run summer camp and you’ll be surrounded by wholesome, outdoorsy young people who like being around others and doing fun activities. Camp offers teens the opportunity to be among young adults who are positive role models and to form close relationships with them. Most camp counselors are hard-working college students who want to serve others. They are friendly, personable, and are just the kind of young adults you want your teen to become.

 

#5  Discover Their Best Self

 

We live in a world where teens—often by their own parents—are steered towards success via the SAT, the college admissions grind, a “good” major, and a high-salary job. Look around at many adults, however, and see where that path got them. Despite knowing better, we still expose our kids to the same gauntlet.

Perhaps college education is the best option for most young people, but I’ve met many who are halfway done (or all the way done) and still don’t know who they are or what they are passionate about. Camp experiences offer teens the chance to step back from the treadmill of academics, competitive sports, and their sleep-deprived, over-scheduled existence, and instead think about what’s important to them. Many campers become less self-absorbed after spending a few weeks at camp, learning to train their focus on others. They also discover new hobbies and avenues to pursue in education and their future careers.

Each summer, tens of thousands of teens leave their phones and car keys at home and head to summer camp as campers, counselors in training, or counselors. Many teens who have never been to camp cannot relate to how a teenager could make such crazy personal sacrifices. And yet, teens are the age group that fills most quickly at many camps. Because, perhaps more than any other time during youth, camp offers the respite, recreation, and renewal to help teens thrive. Teens who have already been to camp know this and want to come back, year after year.

 

 

Gold Arrow Camp offers a Junior Counselor Program for returning GAC campers and an Outdoor Leadership Course for teens (grades 9th-11th).

Originally published at Sunshine Parenting.

Audrey “Sunshine” Monke, MA, has been the owner of Gold Arrow Camp since 1989 and currently serves as the Chief Visionary Officer. In addition to her vision-casting and mentoring at GAC, Sunshine is an author (Happy Campers: 9 Summer Camp Secrets for Raising Kids Who Become Thriving Adults), podcast host, speaker and coach on the topics of parenting, social skills, and happiness. Find out more at her website, Sunshine Parenting.

The Gift of Handwritten Letters

Recently, I’ve been going through the many boxes of letters, photos, and memorabilia which I have collected over my first five decades. It’s been a time-consuming task, but I’m trying to organize into a smaller number of boxes what has been accumulated over the first half of my life.  What has struck me most is the huge number of letters I amassed from my childhood, high school, and college friends. Until this week, I didn’t remember how much we corresponded, but I just finished going through hundreds of letters.  I now have proof of the many friendships that were solidified over hours of writing to one another.

I mostly have the ones written to me, but I can assume from the “Thanks for your letter”s that I was writing at the same rate as my friends were. Maybe some of my letters are in a box out there somewhere?

Not only was there a huge volume of letters (see picture), some of the letters were ten pages long, with tiny writing. Others were short notes or fun greeting cards. Most of them were in beautiful, cursive writing, even some from boys!  What an amazing thing to think about. Back then, without the distractions we all have today, we had TIME to write letters like that!  Plus, we enjoyed it and we were good at it!  We wrote letters because often long-distance phone calls were too expensive.  Many of us traveled and studied overseas, so the letters chronicle our trips.

The process of trying to get rid of most of this paper required that I at least skim through each one. I pulled out many that I simply can’t bear to throw away.  I found letters from my late grandparents, with their words of wisdom. I found letters my parents had written to me over the years.  I also found letters from friends showing major teen angst, which is a good reminder now that I have teens of my own. We weren’t that different back then after all! It’s just that we didn’t splash our anger and sadness at each other on Facebook. We wrote each other heartfelt notes.

One thing I realized is that my kids will not have a big box of letters like mine. They don’t write letters like we did in the pre-computer, pre-email, pre-social networking, pre-cell phone era.  But then I had a revelation! They DO still get to send and receive letters.  It’s when they’re at camp!  I have told parents how much campers enjoy getting “real” mail while at camp (the kind with a stamp), but now I have realized another benefit – they will have these letters as keepsakes and memories of their childhood. And you, as parents, most definitely should save all of the letters you get from your camper!

Among my box, I came across a postcard I sent to my parents in 1977, when I was a camper at Gold Arrow Camp. This is what it said:

 

My postcard home from camp, 1977.

“Dear Mommy,

I think it’s mean that you have to write a letter to get into dinner, but I’m glad to write a letter to you because I love you. It’s been raining since we got here. But we still went horseback riding. I wrote a letter to daddy this morning and sent it. Camp is so fun. I can’t wait to tell you. My counslers name is Liz. She’s nice.

Love, Audrey”

Let me tell you, we have gotten some good laughs in our house over this postcard. Not just about how I spelled “counselor,” but about my comment about the “Mail Meal” (dinners on Wednesday and Sunday that you need to have a letter or postcard home as your ticket in). The dreaded “Mail Meal” has been a camp tradition for as long as anyone can remember, but I didn’t even remember thinking it was a bad thing.  My adult view is much different than my ten-year-old one! I now understand how much parents need those letters.  I hope most kids get beyond the “I have to write this letter” part, and share some of their feelings and memories of camp. The resulting memorabilia will be priceless.

So, here’s to another benefit of camp I’ve only this week realized. We have the chance for our kids to experience the (almost) lost art of writing and receiving handwritten letters. And you, as a parent, have a chance to write down words that your child will be able to read and keep long beyond any email you’ve sent them!

P.S.  Did you see this hilarious book?  P.S. I Hate it Here: Letters from Camp  It is full of some really funny, real letters kids wrote to their parents from camps.

The Magic of The Campfire

by Andy “Soy” Moeschberger

My single favorite time of day at camp is campfire. Every night each of our 31 cabins has its own campfire unless the cabin is at a social (a campfire with another cabin) or our dance. Why do I love this time of day so much? In part because I love the smell of woodsmoke. In part because it means the day is winding down and I’ll be in bed within the next 3 hours. But mostly because of the magic.

What could be so magical about a campfire? Some logs, some pine needles, a match, and some popcorn. That’s simple and fun, but it isn’t magic.

I beg to differ. I think that the time spent around a campfire is magic. It’s transformational and powerful in the way that nothing else I have experienced in my life is. When a group of 10 friends is gathered around the flickering flames under a blanket of stars they can and will share truths that are more lasting and meaningful than if they were in a game room or around a dining room table.

But why? What is it about the campfire that makes this possible? Well, maybe it isn’t magic. Maybe it’s science. According to a study from the University of Alabama, adults who were exposed to a “fire with sound condition” (a video of a fire with the sound turned on) showed lower blood pressure and increased “prosocial” behaviors (such as smiling, making eye contact and engaging in conversation). And that was a VIDEO of a campfire with an adult by themselves! The authors hypothesize that this is an evolutionary development. They believe that for ancient humans the fire provided warmth and a way to cook, and also signaled the safety of numbers. Our ancient forerunners knew that by being around the campfire they could relax. Even a millennium after we moved indoors, our minds still subconsciously know that a fire is a place where we are safe.

Children need this more than ever today. The pressures of the world increasingly weigh on young people. If they can have an opportunity to feel, like the cavemen of old, relaxed and safe, then they can begin to become their best selves. The campfire is a natural way to do that. As I tell our graduating campers at their Paddle Ceremony, the most meaningful moments of their camp careers probably occurred around a campfire. 

Many camps have only occasional campfires, or “flashlight” fires. While there are benefits to that, we know the nightly practice of an actual campfire is important. Our counselors are trained specifically on campfires. The training is far more than how to stack the logs and what the ideal marshmallow looks like. Indeed, they practice in our training how to lead a meaningful discussion around the fire. They lead campers in sharing their highs and lows of the day. They help to facilitate discussions about real life topics that campers are interested in or struggling with.

On our last night of camp, we gather for an all-camp campfire that we call Appreciation Campfire. There are songs and stories and skits. Off to the side of our amphitheater (which we call Big Campfire!), there is a campfire pit, where the logs crackle away merrily. As the night winds down, the flames grow lower and lower. At the end of the night, counselors share their appreciation for their cabins by candlelight as the last embers of the campfire glow.

That’s just a last tiny piece of magic before we go home.  

Counselors at Gold Arrow Camp, a summer camp in California, light candles to show their appreciation for their campers