BE YOU: Appreciate, Don’t Compare
BE YOU Week 4: Appreciate, Don’t Compare
Comparison is the thief of joy.
– Theodore Roosevelt
We are so excited to have Chelster join Sunshine this week for our #GACbeyou podcast. This week, we are talking about focusing on the qualities we really like in ourselves and trying to refrain from comparing ourselves to others. It’s our human tendency to see others and immediately compare ourselves to them. We tend to want to be like them and often lose sight of all the wonderful things we bring to the table. Instead of comparing ourselves to others, we can be happy that they are the way they are and appreciate them for that!
Life is like a team. We all play different parts and bring different skills to the team. It’s important to remember that the team will be at its best when everyone focuses on the skills that they are there to perform.
Instead of comparing, we should appreciate each other. We should be grateful for who they are and who we are. We can combine our strengths and talents with others’ to do bigger and better things. We are also more effective when we are appreciating and lifting others for who they are, instead of bringing them or ourselves down.
This week’s #GACbeyou challenge
Journal or share with someone else (can be a parent, sibling, or friend) your answer to this question:
We all have so much to offer and so much to be grateful for. What are some things that you appreciate about others? Maybe you appreciate others’ kindness and their ability to keep secrets. Being able to recognize the things you appreciate about others, will help you appreciate things in yourself more easily.
Practicing daily gratitude is an easy way to appreciate who you are. Be grateful for being exactly who you are. If there is something you appreciate about yourself that you learned from someone else, maybe write them a letter telling them how they impacted your life. In the words of Anthem Lights, “‘Cause anybody can be a copy, and there will always be people talking. So face your fears and chase your dreams, and dance like no one’s watching.”
GACspiration
Want to be inspired? Print out this week’s GACspiration and post it on your bathroom door or mirror (just like at GAC)!
Activity Ideas
This week, we challenge you to learn more about yourself! Make a list of things you really like about yourself, including what makes you unique. Make another list of things others love about you! Ask your family members, friends, or even coaches. When you need a reminder of what makes you AWESOME, you will have these lists to look back on!
Resources
Comparison is the Thief of (Parenting) Joy
30 Things to Appreciate About You
How to Appreciate What You Have
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BE YOU: What Stresses you Out? What Calms you Down?
BE YOU Week 3: What Stresses you Out? What Calms you Down?
“Do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you’ll be criticized anyway.”
– Eleanor Roosevelt
What are things that really stress you out or make you feel not so great? It is good to identify these things so that we can try to avoid them or work on strategies to manage them.
This week, we want to focus on identifying those stresses and identifying ways to calm our bodies and cope in those moments. Emotional regulation is an important life skill that should be talked about and practiced like any other skill. As we mature and gain life experience, we find new ways to calm our stresses and new ways to cope with our emotions. It’s important to learn how to process our emotions in a positive way.
Our very own Audrey “Sunshine” Monke has created a helpful list of ten ways to teach kids to calm down. Although not all of these will work for each individual, we hope you will be able to gain some valuable tools from this list.
- Go to a “chill spot.”
- Designate a spot that is strictly for calming down. Maybe even have some calming activities stored in that area (coloring supplies, books, etc).
- Go outside for a walk or run.
- This can be a group activity or solo, but try to include some quiet reflective time.
- Take some deep breaths.
- Focus on deeper, slower breaths rather than shallower, faster breaths.
- Count to 10 (or 100).
- Count in your head while focusing on your breathing before responding to a situation.
- Listen to some soothing music.
- Make a playlist of happy songs, not angry or aggressive songs.
- Think of something you’re grateful for.
- Jot down something your grateful for when you are feeling down. Use pen and paper or even type it in your phone so that you can revert back to it at a later time.
- Look at a funny meme or video.
- A good belly laugh is good for the soul. Look up your favorite memes or even videos on your phone.
- Hug.
- Hug a loved one. While you are hugging, focus on your breathing. It will calm both parties.
- Loosen up.
- Focus on breathing and counting while stretching or doing your favorite yoga poses.
- Sit quietly and have a drink of water, cup of tea, or piece of fruit.
- You could even include this in the “chill spot”.
Practice some of these techniques the next time you need to calm down and figure out which ones work best for you!
This Week’s #GACbeyou Challenge
Journal or share with someone else (can be a parent, sibling, or friend) your answer to this question:
When have you felt your worst over the past few weeks, or even months? Maybe you felt frustrated, angry, or sad in certain situations. It’s important to identify these things within ourselves, just like we identify all the things or times that get us excited or happy!
What works best for you to help yourself feel better when you are stressed out? There are many different ways to calm down and feel better in a stressful situation. Camp is a great place to destress and calm our bodies. Being in the outdoors and exercising (camp allows us to move our bodies in so many different ways) are among the many ways to help ourselves unwind from our stresses.
Do more of what makes you feel great! Think back to last week’s post and what puts you into “flow.” The times you are in “flow” are usually times when you are doing something that is calming for you and that allows you to put a lot of energy into something you enjoy. The focus that you put into your “flow” activities are sure to be calming and put you in a happy mood!
GACspiration
Want to be inspired? Print out this week’s GACspiration and post it on your bathroom door or mirror (just like at GAC)!
Activity Ideas
Make a chart of things that commonly stress you out or put you in a bad mood. Beside each one, write a calming strategy that might work to calm you down during one of those situations. When you are having a bad day or moment, go to your list and see which strategy you could try out! If it works, put a star next to it so you know that you can do that one again. If it doesn’t really work for you, that’s okay! Try another one until you find a few that you know you can count on!
Resources
10 Ways to Teach Kids to Calm Down
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Be You: Find Your “Flow”
BE YOU Week 2: Find Your “Flow”
“If you have good thoughts, they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.”
– Roald Dahl
This week for our BE YOU theme, we’re focusing on finding activities that get you into a state of “flow.”
Flow is a term coined by psychologist Mihaly Csikzentmihalyi (pronounced “cheeks sent me high”) that refers to a state of optimal experience and involvement in an activity during which we are performing at our best.
Watch Dr. Csikszentmihalyi talk about flow in his TED Talk, “Flow, the Secret to Happiness.”
When we’re in “flow,” we are doing something we really, really enjoy. We can’t wait to do the activity again, and we feel a lot of positive emotions while participating in the activity. We can stick with it for hours without even noticing the time going by. In fact, when we’re in flow, it’s hard to stop whatever we’re doing. Flow is different from pleasure – simply doing things that are enjoyable like watching TV, scrolling on social media, or shopping. Instead, flow activities usually are demanding and take our full attention and concentration.
People achieve flow in all different ways, including while playing a musical instrument, playing a sport, writing, painting, attending a concert, bird watching, riding a horse, or running, to name just a few. Often we cannot relate to the passion others have for their personal “flow” activity, since their enthusiasm and passion seem inordinately high. For the lucky ones among us, we find flow in our daily work.
The younger you are, the more likely it is that you’ve been in flow today. Young children excel at getting into a state of flow, usually during unstructured play time. As they create their pretend worlds, “cook” in the sand box, build a fort, or swing high on a swing, they are joyful and time flies by for them. Young children are experts at happily living in the moment. As we get older, however, we need to be more aware of getting ourselves into that engaged, amazing state that we enjoyed when we were younger.
Here’s an official definition of flow:
Flow is the mental state of operation in which a person performing an activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and enjoyment in the process of the activity. In essence, flow is characterized by complete absorption in what one does.
And here are some ideas of possible flow activities from Deann Ware, Ph.d:
Physical activities such as sports, yoga, dance, and martial arts
Outdoor challenges such as hiking
Music–writing, playing, mixing
Art–painting, sculpture, mixed media, pottery
Photography
Woodworking
Do-It-Yourself projects, such as home improvement
Working with animals
Gardening
Cooking and baking
Software development/coding
Scrapbooking
Writing
Needlework–sewing, knitting, cross stitch
Horseback riding
What you do for work (hopefully!)
This week’s #GACbeyou challenge
What activities get you into flow? When have you been doing something that you are so engaged that you’ve completely lost track of time? That’s a fun thing to explore as we continue to delve into our “BE YOU” theme. Flow states are a great clue as we figure out who we are and what makes us our best self!
What are new activities you want to try this summer?
What makes your heart “sing?”
Sometimes, we need to explore different activities before we figure out which activities get us into that awesome state of flow. Don’t worry if you haven’t found that awesome, engaged state yet. Sometimes, it takes awhile to explore, and many adults haven’t even figured it out yet! So start now, while you have some free time, exploring different activities – creative, athletic, academic, etc. – and find your flow!
GACspiration
Want to be inspired? Print out this week’s GACspiration and post it on your bathroom door or mirror (just like at GAC)!
Activity Ideas
Make a list of different possible flow activities that you want to explore. Consider different hobbies, sports, and music you have some interest in learning more about.
Try one new activity from the list you made.
More Flow activity ideas:
positivepsychology.com
dailyshoring.com
From Designing Your Life:
Energy Engagement Worksheet
Good Time Journal Activity Log
Resources
Read more about flow in this post on Sunshine Parenting.
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Be You: You’re One of a Kind!
BE YOU Week 1: You’re One of a Kind!
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson
Have you ever thought about how amazing it is that there is no one else who is exactly like you? You are unique, original, and one of a kind!
This week for our BE YOU theme, we’re focusing on what you like best about yourself. It may sound strange to think and talk about what you like about yourself. It may sound like bragging or being overconfident. But it’s really important that instead of always telling ourselves and thinking about our faults and what we don’t like about ourselves that we take time to think about what we do like.
Watch the challenge online: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8tPrYhEoHQ
This week’s #GACbeyou challenge
Journal or share with someone else (can be a parent, sibling, or friend) your answer to this question:
Focus on your the inner qualities — personality traits and talents — that you like best about yourself.
Here are some examples of personality or character traits that you might especially like about yourself:
Kindness – You think about others and do acts of kindness.
Enthusiasm – You get super excited about things – and get other people excited, too.
Grit – You stick with things even when it’s hard.
Sense of Humor – You make people laugh.
Gratitude – You thank others and think about things you’re grateful for.
Honesty – You tell the truth, even when it’s hard or you get in trouble for telling the truth.
Brave – You courageously speak what you believe, even when your opinion is unpopular.
Compassionate – You think about others, feel pain when others are hurt, and take action to help.
Leader – You influence others to act in a positive way.
Loyal – You stick by the side of your family and friends and stay loyal even when people are going through hard times.
These are just a few examples of character traits you might really like about yourself. There are many more!
Here are a few talents you might really like about yourself. How would you finish this phrase: “Something I like about myself is that I’m great at ……”
Music (playing an instrument, singing)
Sports (playing soccer, running, ping pong)
English, science, history, or another subject
Painting, photography, drawing, sewing, making friendship bracelets.
Writing
Reading
Doing magic tricks, riding a unicycle, playing chess, etc.
There are so many different talents and skills each person has. What is something you are good at that you really like about yourself?
GACspiration
Want to be inspired? Print out this week’s GACspiration and post it on your bathroom door or mirror (just like at GAC)!
Activity Ideas
• Get together (in person or online) with your family or a group of friends. Give everyone a chance to share one thing they like about themselves.
• Create a longer list of 10 (or more) things you like about yourself. You could make a list of as many things you like about yourself as how old you are. So, if you’re 14, write 14 things you like about yourself.
• Share with one of your parents, siblings, or a friend something you like about them and ask them to share something they like about you. You’ll both feel happier after the conversation!
Resources
#GACkindness: 30 Days of Kindness
Will Kellogg on Growing Grit and the First Attempt In Learning
Sunshine Parenting Podcast Ep. 28: Focusing on Our Kids’ Strengths
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Summer Middle School Programs With Soy
Episode 61
On this episode of the POG-Cast, Soy gave up the host’s seat to be interviewed by Sunshine (of the Sunshine Parenting podcast) about our offering for Middle School campers this summer, GALAMS.
GALAMS is a program designed around Gold Arrow Camp’s Core Values and how campers can use those values to build their own leadership skills. The program consists of 3 1-hour meetings each week where campers will be led by amazing GAC counselors as they work through the program. The group of campers will remain unchanged, giving campers and staff a chance to build relationships similar to those that they would have at camp.
Participants in the course also receive a T-shirt, certificate of completion, personalized letter of recommendation, and credit for a year of camp. The program runs from June 29- July 24th. More details are available on our dedicated page: https://goldarrowcamp.com/GALAMS
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Summer Teen Program Details With Delta
Episode 60
On this very special episode of the GAC POG-Cast, Soy sat down with Sunshine who sat down with Delta to talk about our awesome new online leadership program for high school students, GALA.
The program, designed for 9-12th graders features 3 1-hour meetings a week, facilitated by awesome GAC counselors who have been working with our teen programs for years. Participants who complete the course also receive a T-shirt, certificate of completion, a personalized letter of recommendation, and credit for a year of camp.
GALA runs from June 29th-July 24th. You can find more details about the program on our dedicated page, https://goldarrowcamp.com/GALA
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Chelster
Episode 59
On this episode of the POG-Cast, Soy sits down with our Director of Parent and Camper Services, Chelster. Chelster has been with Gold Arrow Camp literally as long as she’s been alive. It was a real treat to talk with her about what she loves about camp and the impact camp has on kids. As usual, there’s a Joke of the Cast and a GACspiration.
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Evergreen
Episode 58
On this episode, it’s a Morning Assembly reunion, as Evergreen joins Soy to talk about camp. Evergreen has a long history with camp and has experienced it as both a staff member and a parent. She has great insights about what makes camp special, which was really cool to hear. Soy shares some of his Dad’s work history in the Joke of the Cast and Victor Frankl supplies the GACspiration
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Birks
Episode 57.
On this episode, Soy and Birks sat down to chat about camp. They covered many topics, but a key part of the discussion was about the job of being a camp counselor, and what you can learn in that job that is applicable outside of camp. Birks even shared why she thought that being a counselor was better training than being an intern. There’s a family story in the Joke of the Cast and Sunshine delivers a great GACspiration.
In the episode, Soy mentions that he’ll share some resources about why camp is better than an internship. Here are some of those resources.
The New York Times, The Camp Counselor vs. The Intern
Alison “Bean” Moeschberger, Camp Director, The Greatest Internship
Audrey “Sunshine” Monke, Sunshine Parenting Author, Why Being a Camp Counselor is the Best Summer Job
Leah Mesches, ACA, Can I Really Afford to Spend Another Summer at Camp?
Work at GAC (and yes, we can work with your university to make this summer a paid internship!)
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Tank
Episode 56
Today was a special day for Soy because he got to have one of his best camp friends on the POG. Tank, who worked alongside Soy on the operations team at camp and who is a vital part of Morning Assembly, joined the POG-Cast from Vail, Colorado to talk about coming to camp, living in the mountains, and the most requested song at dances and Morning Assembly. There’s a superhero-themed Joke of the Cast and Ralph Waldo Emerson provided the GACspiration.
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