Healthy Habits for Happy Campers
Audrey “Sunshine” Monke’s article for Camping Magazine, “Happy Campers: Teach and Practice Healthy Habits at Camp” highlights some of the healthy habits we practice at GAC, including:
Habit #1: Face-to-Face Connection
Habit #2: Get Sufficient Sleep
Habit #3: Exercise
Habit #4: Spend Time Outside
Habit #5: Kindness
Why Kids Need to Get Uncomfortable
As parents, we spend a lot of time making our kids comfortable. Feeling cold? I’ll grab you a sweatshirt. Hungry? Let me get you a snack right away! Kid being unkind? I’ll complain to the teacher and make her stop!
At times, I’ve felt like it’s my duty to alleviate any discomfort my child is feeling. I think a lot of parents feel this way during this unique era of “overparenting.” One friend described the “lawnmower” parent who grooms the path for their child to make it smooth and without any bumps.
Some of us by nature are more “gritty” than others, able to push ourselves and deal with discomfort. Think about endurance runners who stumble across the finish line, bloody and exhausted. Others of us are more prone to climbing deeper into our turtle shell when faced with life’s inevitable discomforts and challenges. We tend to hunker safely inside our comfort zone and not let anyone or anything pull us out.
No matter where our kid’s (or our own) starting point may be, it’s important to explore the concept of being uncomfortable and, as parents, learn to tolerate that discomfort when our kids are feeling anxious, nervous, or afraid.
It’s not easy. Our natural instinct is to protect our kids from any and all discomfort. And when they’re little, that natural instinct serves us (and them) well. We change dirty diapers, feed them when they’re hungry, grab them before they run into the street.
Emotional discomfort is even harder to handle as a parent. When a kid makes a mean comment to our child and hurts his or her feelings, we bristle. We want to alleviate the discomfort immediately, so we call the school, the other kid’s parents, and the FBI to come in and stop that horrid child from making our beloved feel uncomfortable.
How can we best help our kids develop into adults who persevere and can handle life’s inevitable setbacks?
We must learn to coach our children to tolerate their discomfort. If we help them figure out coping strategies, they will be better able to respond the next time an uncomfortable or painful situation arises. For our kids to develop their grit and learn to expand their comfort zone, we need to be supportive, engaged, and empathetic, without immediately swooping in to ease their discomfort.
Audrey “Sunshine” Monke has been the owner of Gold Arrow Camp since 1989. She is the author of the 2019 parenting book, Happy Campers: 9 Summer Camp Secrets for Raising Kids Who Become Thriving Adults. “Sunshine” has been writing and podcasting about summer camp, well-being, social skills, and parenting at Sunshine Parenting since 2012.
More Resources
Coaching Kids to Better Friendships
“Friends are everything. They are always there if you have a problem or if you get hurt, they can always help you up.”
– Patricio, Camper, Age 8
The commonly accepted trajectory of do well in school -> get into a good college -> make a lot of money -> flourish in life is not exactly accurate. You only have to know one unhappy wealthy person to know that’s not the path that will lead to happiness or fulfillment.
What is a more accurate trajectory? good interpersonal (social) skills -> positive relationships -> flourish in life.
Michael Thompson’s statement, “Friendship is the gold of childhood,” stuck with me long after I attended his conference session on the social lives of children. Friendship is not just the gold of childhood, but also of life. In my research for my Master’s degree in Psychology, I looked closely at studies related to friendship, social skills, and well-being. What I found was not surprising. For children, and adults as well, positive relationships are the best predictor of overall happiness and well-being. As parents, teachers, and counselors, we should be putting a primary emphasis on helping kids develop the social skills they need to make and keep friends.
Unfortunately, our culture is not supporting the development of healthy, solid friendships between kids. Friendship is more important than any academic subject or athletic skill, and yet the way our kids spend their time does not reflect this importance. For many kids, there simply isn’t time in their lives for developing strong, close friendships.
What are our kids learning about friendship in this Instagram, Snapchat, and texting era of “friends?” Many boast hundreds, even thousands, of “friends” and “likes” on photos. Yet some of those same kids don’t have one single person in their lives that meets the criteria of a true and trusted friend. Face-to-face social skills, such as being able to read non-verbal cues, are learned through practice. If communication is primarily through media, then those skills are not being honed.
Another cultural factor that is counter-productive to the development of solid friendships is the constant, high-stakes competition our children are constantly in with their peers. Who’s ranked higher at school? Who made the “A” team? Who’s more popular? Often, instead of being truly supportive and encouraging of each other, kids want their peers to fail.
Making friends, and being a good friend, doesn’t come naturally to all people. And, coupled with the crazy culture we’re in, it’s no surprise that many kids are struggling to form strong friendships.
Friends are the reason campers and counselors return to Gold Arrow Camp year after year. “Make Friends” is one of the three main goals we chant at the opening of camp each session. At camp, there is time for friendship — precious, relaxing time to get to know each other, spend time making memories, and communicating face-to-face. Our whole camp community is built around inclusion, respect, and kindness. There is no competition at camp, no “A” team or “popular” group. Just kids having fun together and learning to live and play with each other, work out disagreements, and become better friends to each other.
A few of the many friendship skills we focus on at GAC include:
Teaching Campers the Friendship Skill of Asking Questions
Friendship Tip: Find Your Best Calm Down Strategy
“A friend is someone you’re not afraid to be yourself with.”
– Hannah, Camper, Age 14
Counselors are trained to help kids connect from the moment they get on the bus until the last goodbye. Long talks at meals, around the campfire, and under the stars in sleeping bags are uninterrupted by cell phones and other technological distractions. Campers can’t “tune out” by putting earphones in. They stay engaged with each other and learn to connect. Counselors gently coach campers who need to develop social skills in areas such as listening skills, empathy, sharing, flexibility, initiating conversations, and understanding non-verbal cues. They encourage campers to be intentional about being good friends to each other and observant about what they appreciate about their friends.
“Friends are awesome, because they stand up for you, and they care for you.”
– Joey, Camper, Age 11
At one final campfire gathering last summer, the Randy Newman song, “You’ve Got a Friend in Me,” came on during the slide show. A group of four twelve-year-old boys sitting on the bench in front of me spontaneously put their arms around each other and started swaying back and forth, singing along to the song. I will never forget that vivid picture of the power of camp friendships.
Audrey “Sunshine” Monke, MA, has been the owner of Gold Arrow Camp since 1989 and currently serves as the Chief Visionary Officer. In addition to her vision-casting and mentoring at GAC, Sunshine is an author (Happy Campers: 9 Summer Camp Secrets for Raising Kids Who Become Thriving Adults), podcast host, speaker and coach on the topics of parenting, social skills, and happiness. Find out more at her website, Sunshine Parenting.
Visit Sunshine Parenting for more friendship skills-related posts & podcast episodes.
Counselors Bring the GAC Philosophy to Life
Today marks the start of our Staff Training Week (“Tweek” for short). We’ll spend this evening getting to know each other and will spend the entire week learning how we will bring GAC’s Vision, Mission, & Goals to life this summer for our campers. Our 2022 staff will learn how we Connect, Coach, and Create to deliver the Fun, Friends, and Growth that our campers experience at GAC.
BONUS EPISODE: Sunshine & Soy Talk About How Counselors Bring GAC’s Philosophy To Life
2022 GAC Events Calendar
Happy New Year! As we gear up for another summer of fun, friends, and growth at GAC, we have planned some online events in the coming months. Download a calendar for home and be sure to visit the Upcoming Events page for links and details.
Give us a call at 800-554-2267 x.0 or send us an email if you have any questions or need additional information about any of our events.
DOWNLOAD 2022 GAC EVENTS CALENDAR
Have Fun: Creating a Positive, Connected Family Culture – Parent Coffee on January 19
Want to bring some of the fun and connection of GAC home to your family this year?
Creating a close and connected family culture that promotes positive, lifelong relationships is the most important thing we can do for our children. Grab your coffee or tea, login, and join other GAC parents for our first parent coffee of 2022. We’ll learn about and discuss simple, research-based and experience-backed strategies for adding more fun and connection at home.
Audrey “Sunshine” Monke, who will be speaking at this coffee, is Gold Arrow Camp’s Chief Visionary Officer, the author of Happy Campers: 9 Summer Camp Secrets for Raising Kids Who Become Thriving Adults, and the host of the Sunshine Parenting Podcast. Audrey regularly speaks to parents and teachers on the topics of friendship skills, connection, and well-being. See some of her past interviews and events here.
All Gold Arrow Camp parents who register will be entered in our drawing for one of 10 free, signed copies of Happy Campers. Drawing will take place and winners will be notified on January 14, 2022.
Registrants will be sent a recording after the meeting as well as a PDF with the strategies and links we discuss.
Resources & Links
Happy Campers: 9 Summer Camp Secrets for Raising Kids Who Become Thriving Adults
Junior Counselor Application Opens Dec. 15
“After 8 years as campers, both my daughters were JCs this year. They both had the time of their lives. They loved it even more than being GAC campers, because it had all of the fun activities and traditions, plus the added perks of being trusted with more responsibilities and additional freedoms. After 1.5 years of COVID and all its disappointments, this was just what they needed for their mindset and their self-esteem. They both made deep friendships, both gained maturity, and both retain their love for GAC and intend to go back as counselors when they’re old enough. Thank you!” – 2021 JC Parent
Gold Arrow Camp’s Junior Counselor Program is designed to introduce older, returning campers to leadership roles with specific training and responsibilities in the camp environment. Our goal is for Junior Counselors (JCs) to return home confident in their leadership abilities and able to create positive change in their schools and communities.
The first two weeks of the month-long program focus on building leadership skills, teamwork, and training. JC participants will spend the second two weeks engaged in hands-on leadership and camp counseling experience while working with younger campers and experienced counselors.
Teens benefit greatly from a camp experience and GAC’s JC Program is no exception! This program is a fun, engaging, and fulfilling opportunity for our former GAC campers completing grades 10 and 11. Let us know if you have questions or need additional information.
Junior Counselor Application Opens December 15
Take A Hike Day – November 17th!
Celebrate National Take A Hike Day With GAC!
We’re obviously big fans of getting out into nature and taking a hike. At camp, campers participate in hikes of all lengths, from our Bears Adventure, to 8-mile overnight backpacking trips, to our 7 night teen Outdoor Leadership Course.
November 17th is National Take a Hike Day. Although the date falls in the middle of the week this year, plan to spend some time that day to at least take a short hike! Just use the hashtag #NationalTakeAHikeDay and tag us (@goldarrowcamp) on social media. We just might share our favorite hiking pictures!
GAC Runners – Holiday Hustle
Here at the GAC HQ, we are gearing up for the holidays and enjoying the cooler temps outside! This year, our year-round GAC staff is participating in Run Across America’s Holiday Hustle! We have all set a goal to complete 50k by the new year. The best part is that it doesn’t have to be completed all at once! We can’t wait to get out for long walks with our families or even take small strolls during lunch.
We would love for you to join our team for the Holiday Hustle! All you have to do is sign up and join GAC’s team (our team code is FSJFL). Each registrant gets their choice of a sweatshirt or beanie, so be sure to send us a photo of your participants in their gear (bonus points for having GAC gear on, too)! We will send GAC socks to go along with it, as well as sharing some fun achievements from our team on social media throughout the challenge.
If you have any questions, please email Brittany “Delta” Grissett at delta@goldarrowcamp.com.
Connection Comes First: Free Resources & Parent Coffee Chat
At GAC, we believe that connecting with our kids and forming close, positive relationships with them is the most important responsibility of being a parent (or camp counselor!).
Opportunities to learn more about connecting with your kids
Connection Tips & Resources
Our Chief Visionary Officer, Audrey “Sunshine” Monke (host of the Sunshine Parenting Podcast and author of Happy Campers: 9 Summer Camp Secrets for Raising Kids Who Become Thriving Adults) is sharing connection tips with parents who sign up for her email series: Connection Comes First. As soon as you sign up, you’ll immediately get access to a free audio or print download of the first chapter of Sunshine’s book: Camp Secret #1: Connection Comes First.
Sign up for Sunshine’s connection tips (and the free book chapter) here.
Connection Coffee Chat
Join with other GAC community members (staff & parents) to chat about the important topic of connecting with our kids! We’ll share tips and resources AND get the chance to connect with one another.
When: Sep 29, 2021 08:30 AM Pacific Time (US and Canada)
Register for the 9/29/21 parent coffee chat by clicking this link.
After registering, you will receive a confirmation email containing information about joining the meeting.